These are only some of the emotional disturbances one can generate by trying to do the impossible. I'm not sure now which was more delusional--thinking that I could have an impact on the future of American politics or self-publishing a novel. Disclaimer: I was duly warned by multiple people that the latter act was "impossible." I'm old enough to know better about the former but I suffer from Crusader Rabbit complex.
Not only do I routinely wake up in the middle of the night, as I did at 3:00 AM, but my brain rarely stops churning these days. Because I am a creative marketing professional, I am familiar with all the different ways one can generate attention for a cause and a message. Unfortunately, even though I systematically execute several of these activities each day, the awareness of roads not yet taken haunts me. My yoga teacher tells me forward bends will help reduce the anxiety but I have trouble bending over (on a lot of levels).
What keeps me going is how many readers tell me they love the book and couldn't put it down, especially after my hero's world starts to crumble. Those are incredible moments of satisfaction. My sense of euphoria comes when people send me emails from Republican friends who say the book kept them up at night THINKING. Surely, I should get some kind of prize if my work can have THAT effect.
In my office, I have shopping bags full of articles with bylines of reporters and names of influencers I want to contact and a binder of letters to folks I have tried to reach. Every day I try to communicate with at least one traditional media outlet, make one direct appeal to a like-minded person in the news, ask someone to buy the book, and participate on political blogs. In between, I work my marketing plan, try to expand distribution, and come up with clever guerilla marketing tactics: viral emails, blogging, mash-ups, handbills, offers to speak at book clubs posted on craigslist.
Over the 4th of July weekend, I tried to reach the DailyKos community with a diary which yielded encouraging comments but a mere $75 donation to John Lesch--the candidate chosen by the respondents.
This week I posted a funny video on YouTube, Google Video, and Jumpcut. Everyone I've shown it to completely cracks up. Take a look yourself and please respond to the poll below.
My novel represents years of reading such publications as The Nation, the Progressive, The New Yorker, The NY Times; primary research interviewing many Republicans and Libertarians; and examining conservative sites like the New Republic Online. I spent a year writing and editing the book and invested thousands of dollars in first-rate editors, designers, and printers. I'm lucky to have a circle of well-read, forthright, highly critical, and accomplished writers and readers who reviewed the work in progress and helped me make sure this became a good book worth reading. I've spent countless hours trying to get quotes, coverage, and attention since I made the decision to self-publish so I could get the book out in time to influence the mid-term elections. There was simply no way to do that if I went through a publisher.
From the reaction of a sub-set of people, you'd think I was trying to rob a bank or peddle crack to pre-schoolers. I see David Sirota takes a lot of heat here for promoting his book. WHY? This is not a way to get rich, folks, and I've been surprised that this sort of "self-promotion" is viewed with such hostility. When you're unknown and can't afford to pay other people to ring doorbells on your behalf, WHO DO YOU THINK is going to do the work it takes to get noticed? Those overnight successes don't just happen on their own--you have to be prepared if the luck kicks in.
Other self-published authors have told me similar stories so I know it's not personal. The publishing industry is so tightly controlled that the mainstream press acts like we don't exist even when one is on a first name basis with an editor or talk show host. Follow-ups are a delicate balance between persistence and trying not to be a pest. UGHHHH!
I admit it. I've become a total book whore. I never go anywhere without inventory, my receipt book, and a wad of singles for change. There's always a box of books in my trunk, just in case. At the same time, I HATE actually asking people to buy the book because I don't want to bother them or risk rejection. (That's the main difference between marketing and sales people. The former love the strategy, the messaging, the positioning but God forbid you actually have to risk embarrassment and close the deal.)
Meanwhile I'm hearing more voices in my head than Robin Williams. I promise, this is not a desperate ploy for attention, it's a determined attempt to change our country for the better. If there were a famous name instead of mine on the cover it would be an instant best-seller. I hope you'll take a chance on an underdog and at least take a look. Woof woof.
Cross posted with my new blog http://libertyandjustice4all.us