Do not - under any circumstances - do the following.
When travelling with your mother, and up to two impressionable daughters, on your way back to Turkey - do not attempt to explain to Security what that odd looking pump is.
"What the hell" I might hear someone ask "are you talking about?"
Well I'll tell you - or more precisely, quote to you.
Mardin Amin, 29, was en route to Turkey on 16 August with his dear old ma and two small children when a female security operative extracted a "small, black, squeezable rubber object" from his backpack. Since he was standing next to his mum, Amin decided to whisper out of the corner of his mouth that it was a "pump". The guard misheard it as "bomb", with inevitable consequences.
And what precisely was this "pump" attached to? Why the whispering, the secrecy, the confusion?
Well apparently Amin was attempting to transport a deadly Penis Pump through security. Luckily the security and wellbeing of the US and her citizens is in safe hands.
Consequently Amin is now awaiting his day in court to answer charges of felony disorderly conduct - with a possible three years in jail his reward for not speaking clearly.
Needless to say the Security official at the center of this confusion is sticking to her story that Amin said "bomb" - rather than backing down and hoping the citizens of the 'net won't immortalize her idiocy. Unfortunately for Amin, Judge Gerald Winiecki (of Cook County) considers this to be sufficient evidence to proceed to trial.
What did Amin have to say for himself after his court date was set? Aside from assuring reporters that he'd never use the word "bomb" at an airport, particularly not when passing through security, he went on to explain his ownership of such a dangerous device.
"It's normal. Half of America they use it."