In light of the leadership polls to the left of your page, and especially the varitable bitch-slapping that Nancy Pelosi is enduring at the hands of the Kos community, I think it's time for all of us to retract our fangs and give credit where credit is due.
Despite all of our growing criticism over the Democrat Party's lack of vision, platform or testicles, there are some things that Democrats do extremely well.
I've started the list with 5 of those things over the bump, but I encourage you to add to the list in the spirit of party unity.
5 Things Democrats Rock At!
1. Online Petitions
I think you'll agree that no political behavior demonstrates the illusion of activity better than the online petition. What could be more effective than collecting tens of thousands of electronic signatures, killing a few dozen trees to print them, and attempting to deliver them to an unreceptive White House that couldn't give a rat's ass about public opinion? Yes, Democrats rock at online petitions.
2. Hair and Makeup
Democrats, quite simply, are more attractive than their Republican counterparts, mostly due to a mastery of hair and makeup. None of our leaders, for instance, look anything like this:
Or this...
Or this...
Someone should tell the Republicans of the importance of image. The poorly designed, over-made, shot-in-the-face, stick-up-your-ass look is SO 1980s. Don't worry, Republicans -- Stevie Wonder is still very employable, without you hiring him to do your hair and makeup.
3. Staying the Course
This vital political mantra is not just for Republicans anymore! Democrats can stay the course with the best of 'em, as evidenced by our cunning unwillingness to say anything vaguely resembling the following:
Knowing what I know now, I would have not have voted to authorize the Iraq War.
No, you won't catch US pandering to 69% of the voting population just because they don't understand the weapons of mass destruction or the link between Saddam and Osama! Retractions are for wimps!
4. We're Not Self-Absorbed
Despite our pleasant looks, captivating online petitions and strength of conviction, you NEVER hear us talking about ourselves. Why, just go to any officially sanctioned Democratic website, and every headline is about Republicans! The Republicans did this, the Republicans did that, the Republicans took a crap. This generous, unselfish world view guarantees that the spotlight will remain on others, and not on ourselves.
5. We're Not Combative
Softballs are our specialty -- especially when it comes to small, tedious matters like the confirmation of a Supreme Court Justice, or the renewal of that pesky damned Patriot Act. Sure, we could go off all half-cocked and ask hard questions, but really -- who wants a combative, confrontational, impossible-to-please politician on their side? We've got better things to do, not the least of which is our hair and makeup.
So, chill out, Kossacks. We're well-represented.
What else are we good at?