From
Rising Hegemon
Written with the incredibly inaccurate and syncophantic
Stephen Hayes, the Laurie Mylroie of ink.
Chapter 1:
Dick was born in the house his father built. Dick's father was a sort of a little man, common man. He was a streetcar motorman first, then a farmer, and then he had a lemon ranch. It was the poorest lemon ranch in
California Wyoming. He sold it before they found oil on it. And then he was a
grocer Lion-Tamer. He was a great man, because he did his job, and every job counts up to the hilt, regardless of what happens.
Nobody will ever write a book, probably, about Dick's mother. Dick's mother was a saint. A saint with eight teats and a dewclaw.
Chapter 2:
When Cheney was just a year and a half, he intercepted Japanese codes that stated they were preparing to attack Midway Island. He promptly sketched a crayola-gram to Admiral Chester Nimitz and changed the course of the war in the Pacific. For his heroism, Nimitz recommended Cheney for the medal of Freedom, but he was denied the award by Fascist-apologist Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
Dick got his revenge at the age of four, when on a trip to Warm Springs, Georgia he introduced the resting Roosevelt to his pillow. [Sorry, classified]
Chapter 4:
Dick hits puberty:
More Chapters here: http://rising-hegemon.blogspot.com/...