ALERT: Gun-jumping ahead. Rabid chicken-before-they're-hatched-counting ahead! Author unable to stop himself. Only you can. You may wish to save this jolly reading for Wed. Morning. No minors, and no actual CT primary voters allowed. Out of state residents only.
All right. I'm not jumping the gun on assuming the Connecticut Primary is over. Polls does not turnout make. Lot of work remaining, always possibilty of a last minute surge, people without phones could be voting for Lieberman, etc.
But gosh, those polls! And with Lieberman cancelling GOTV? At this point, there's one unresolved question in my mind, one that it would be nice to get an answer to before this primary is over:
Is Bill Clinton going to make that call?
You know the phone call I'm talking about.
It breaks down like this:
"Joe, this is Bill. Sorry to hear about the primary. You know I did everything I could. Nobody worked harder for you than Bill Clinton."
By now Lieberman, exhausted from all-night conversations with election lawyers and Dick Morris about what a "petitioning Democrat" is, starts to realize this is more than a consolation call.
"Joe, this hurts me more than it hurts you. But friends have to be honest with one another. Like when you criticized me during the impeachemnt. I mean, you did that on the Senate Floor with all of America watching, but I still felt like it was a message to me. Now its time for you to be honest with yourself."
Lieberman fidgets, protests. "It can still be done. I was sandbagged in the primary. It was the bloggers that done it. The 'real people' - the ones with no computers, they like me. Nutmeg Staters Like Independents. I'll score in the general. Etc. and Etc."
"Joe. That's pride fucking with you."
Okay, sorry Pulp Fiction was on TNT yesterday. Okay, no... Bill wouldn't really say that. Or would he? No, no he wouldn't. Okay, back to reality:
"Joe. It's over. The best thing for the party is to drop it. As the closest thing to a titular head we got, I'm sending you the message.
More protests from Lieberman. It was the blogger-people! People love me in this state. Then Bill lays the hammer down:
There's only one option for you. It's over. I have to let you know that if you go this alone, it's not going to be possible for Bubba to support you. Hil' neither. But you knew that.
The question in my mind now is. Will this call happen? Will Joe get his "Ol' Yeller" moment? Or will it remain my fiction improperly blockquoted to get the cool grey box effect?