In a series of, erm, interesting moves the UK Armed forces are joining the fight to make the world a safer place - in environmental terms.
First on the list is the bullet. Supposedly the traditional bullet poses a considerable risk to not only the environment - but people. Thus BAE Systems, the Haliburton of British defense contractors, has proposed the introduction of the environmentally conscious, lead free bullet.
I applaud their decision to put the lives and well being of nature ahead of corporate greed - but can't help wondering whether a bullet that is less harmful to people somehow defeats the object of having bullets.
Next up, noise pollution. We all know how irritating it can be when those pesky war heads fly past your house, shaking the foundations and causing such a ruckus that you might miss a critical moment from Lost. So yes, you've guessed it, the British Ministry of Defense (in collaboration with once again, BAE Systems) has proposed quieter missiles to reduce the noise pollution caused by bombing cities.
Finally, and I shit you not - these are all real proposals, in an effort to reduce green house gasses, the DOD has proposed the production of smoke grenades that produce less smoke.. sure you may end up with a few more of the enemy observing your imminent attack, but surely the presence of smoke from a smoke grenade has already heralded your advance.
After all what's important here, you successfully engage Taliban insurgents with minimum loss of life, or the polar icecaps remain intact for a more few seconds thanks to your efforts to reduce the emissions of smoke grenades?
So again, a round of applause to the great minds at the British Ministry of Defense and their primo contractor BAE Systems, for their work to make the British Army an environmentally conscious killing machine.