from the news desk of
NPC/Opolitique
EXTRA --- EXTRA --- BREAKING NEWS --- EXTRA --- EXTRA
© npc - 01-30-06
White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan denies that George W. Bush, President of the United States, had a private viewing of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN or that he even knew what it was about, or that any cowboy on his ranch bore a similarity to either of the two characters in the movie, or that he had ever spent time in a pup tent, or that he had ever had a naked moment anywhere at anytime, (including the Texas Air National Guard,) with another man.
McClellan, further denied that he had been, or ever was, now or in the past, a close and personal friend of scandalized news stringer, cum porno internet star, Jeff Cannon, or that the President knew him, or had ever been naked with him, in or out of a pup tent, or while using the toilet just off the press room.
"Besides," said McClellan, "Jeff doesn't know how to ride a horse, or a cowboy. He is strictly a marine type guy. Or, uh, that's what I've heard," he stated.
McClellan responded to a question about the embattled judicial nominee Sam `the man' Alito by saying that as a Catholic, "Judge Alito is unequivocally opposed to all homosexual acts, in or out of pup tents or the confessional for that matter" and that Democrats ought not to raise the issue as reason for denying him a place on the bench.
Karl Rove, reportedly a very lonely man, was quoted by an undercover, reliable, imbedded source as saying that this entire story was a plot by the Reverend, and 700 Club host, Pat Robertson, as revenge for not making him Vice President. Rove is reported as having said "off the record" that were no plans to have Robertson assassinated.
Dick Cheney, who has often been quoted as denouncing the use of the word "dick" to denigrate men, said that wire tapping and torture would be used to find out who was in the pup tent in mention or who had leaked in it ...or rather, leaked about it.
Good Night --- Good Day and have a lovely bunch of coconuts from NPC News.