Scientists have discovered fossil evidence that finally sheds light on the greatest mystery of our time:
How in the hell did these rabid Bush supporters evolve? Now, at long last, we have the
answer:
Scientists have discovered a tiny species of ancient human that lived 18,000 years ago on an isolated island east of the Java Sea -- a prehistoric hunter in a "lost world" of giant lizards and miniature elephants.
These "little people" stood about three feet tall and had heads the size of grapefruit.
[...] "even though we have evidence of intelligence [in the new species], they were clearly subject to isolation and dwarfing."
[...] The small brain, however, "is a big surprise," Potts said, a major departure from the general evolutionary trend -- that the human brain grew over time.
Clearly, this discovery jibes perfectly with our portrait of the latter-day Freeper: tiny brain, a fixation on technology for hunting and killing, the
reliance on brute force to solve all of life's problems, a small elephant as mascot...and an inexorable tendency toward social isolation and political EXTINCTION.