From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
President Bush delivers his Dissaray of the Union speech tonight. Being a licensed online historian with full Google privileges, I recently revisited some of his previous addresses to the nation. You tell me---does he come off as more Trumanesque or Lincolnesque?
2003 (Jan. 23, 2003)
From three Iraqi defectors we know that Iraq, in the late 1990s, had several mobile biological weapons labs. These are designed to produce germ warfare agents, and can be moved from place to a place to evade inspectors. Saddam Hussein has not disclosed these facilities. He's given no evidence that he has destroyed them.
The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa. Our intelligence sources tell us that he has attempted to purchase high-strength aluminum tubes suitable for nuclear weapons production. Saddam Hussein has not credibly explained these activities. He clearly has much to hide. [...]
Evidence from intelligence sources, secret communications, and statements by people now in custody reveal that Saddam Hussein aids and protects terrorists, including members of al Qaeda. Secretly, and without fingerprints, he could provide one of his hidden weapons to terrorists, or help them develop their own. Applause.) [...]
The United States will ask the U.N. Security Council to convene on February the 5th to consider the facts of Iraq's ongoing defiance of the world. Secretary of State Powell will present information and intelligence about Iraq’s illegal weapons programs, its attempt to hide those weapons from inspectors, and its links to terrorist groups.
We will consult. But let there be no misunderstanding: If Saddam Hussein does not fully disarm, for the safety of our people and for the peace of the world, we will lead a coalition to disarm him. (Applause.)
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2004 (January 20, 2004)
Already, the Kay Report identified dozens of weapons of mass destruction-related program activities and significant amounts of equipment that Iraq concealed from the United Nations. Had we failed to act, the dictatator's weapons of mass destruction programs would continue to this day. [...]
For all who love freedom and peace, the world without Saddam Hussein's regime is a better and safer place. (Applause.) [...]
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2005 (Feb. 2, 2005)
Our generational commitment to the advance of freedom, especially in the Middle East, is now being tested and honored in Iraq. That country is a vital front in the war on terror, which is why the terrorists have chosen to make a stand there. Our men and women in uniform are fighting terrorists in Iraq, so we do not have to face them here at home. (Applause.) And the victory of freedom in Iraq will strengthen a new ally in the war on terror, inspire democratic reformers from Damascus to Tehran, bring more hope and progress to a troubled region, and thereby lift a terrible threat from the lives of our children and grandchildren. [...]
We will succeed in Iraq because Iraqis are determined to fight for their own freedom, and to write their own history. As Prime Minister Allawi said in his speech to Congress last September, "Ordinary Iraqis are anxious to shoulder all the security burdens of our country as quickly as possible." [...]
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2006 (Jan. 31, 2006)
We're on the offensive in Iraq, with a clear plan for victory. First, we're helping Iraqis build an inclusive government, so that old resentments will be eased and the insurgency will be marginalized.
Second, we're continuing reconstruction efforts, and helping the Iraqi government to fight corruption and build a modern economy, so all Iraqis can experience the benefits of freedom. And, third, we're striking terrorist targets while we train Iraqi forces that are increasingly capable of defeating the enemy. [...]
Fellow citizens, we are in this fight to win, and we are winning.
The road of victory is the road that will take our troops home. As we make progress on the ground, and Iraqi forces increasingly take the lead, we should be able to further decrease our troop levels---but those decisions will be made by our military commanders, not by politicians in Washington, D.C.
And if you're feeling really adventurous, go see what he promised us on energy and health care.
Cheers and Jeers starts in There’s Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Note: As the newest member of the President’s Council on Fitness, I’m instituting some changes here. When commenting in C&J, you must wear little finger weights.
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By the Numbers:
Days ‘til Valentine’s Day: 22
Percent of January that’s over: 74.1%
Average amount spent per person in the U.S. every year on health care: $5,700
Number of countries that spend more per person than we do: 0
(Source: Parade magazine)
Number of Howard Johnson’s left in America: 3
Chance that President Bush’s plan to balance the federal budget by 2012 actually will balance the budget by 2012: 1%
Oh, and this:
New England: 38 Indianapolis: 34
(Source: God)
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Your Puppy Pic of the Day: "Which way did he go?? Which way did he go??"
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CHEERS to terminating the suspense. Finally we know the answer!! Hillary Rodham Clinton officially announced her candidacy...before Bill Richardson did. I just won a cool five bucks in the office pool. (Now, Senator, tell me what you stand for, again?)
JEERS to the face of the GOP. While the Democratic slate of presidential contenders gives America a chance to elect an African-American, a Hispanic or a woman president, the Republican lineup is---surprise---all white and all male. Although, in fairness, if John Boehner were to enter the race their side would be the first to field an orange candidate. Quick---to the tanning booth, Vilsack!
JEERS to the latest surge. The sight of more American uniforms in Baghdad was supposed to be a good thing, right? Unfortunately a bunch of our duds found their way into the insurgents’ paws and were used to help them infiltrate a government compound where they killed five American soldiers over the weekend...and then escaped! How did the goons get our uniforms? No one knows yet, although the jeep full of Yodas that entered the Green Zone last week is now being considered "suspicious."
P.S. Over 100 civilians were killed by bombs around Baghdad yesterday. That escalation sure is scarin’ the evildoers, huh.
CHEERS to naked men dipped in gold. The Oscar nominations come out this morning. Al Gore is expected to be nominated---and win---for An Inconvenient Truth. Memo to the Supreme Court: BUTT OUT.
JEERS to the Coward-in-Chief. After years of chest-thumping and deception backed by an unquestioning army of thugs in the Republican-"led" Congress, President Bush tonight will play the can’t we all just get along card. And I’ve got your drinking game all set: with Nancy Pelosi sitting right behind Bush (got spitballs?), I invite you all to take a shot every time she rolls her eyes. But just for shits and giggles, play SOTU Bingo (pdf) courtesy of Drinking Liberally. Who says you can only party on weekends?
CHEERS to Babar the burglar. A road through a wildlife sanctuary in Thailand is being closed during nighttime hours because wild elephants are stopping cargo trucks and robbing them of sugar cane at tuskpoint. It’s not that they can’t arrest the elephants, it’s just that they don’t have any orange prison jumpsuits in size XXXXXXXXXXXL.
CHEERS to strange reversals. Wow, the president is now even less popular than Dick Cheney. The only thing less popular than both of ‘em now is the toe fungus gremlin.
JEERS to all weathermen in the universe (except the cute one on channel 6). The forecast for yesterday was "party sunny." Again, the forecast for yesterday was "partly sunny." Twenty four hours later, Portland is buried from the worst snowstorm in nearly a year (it's still coming down). Your Doppler radar privileges are so suspended.
JEERS to veddy uncivilized conduct. A French container ship---damaged in a storm---ran aground in southwest England and hundreds of scavengers with stiff upper lips picked its contents clean (et tu, Welshman??). Yesterday the Queen issued a brief statement: "Bugger off, I got dibs on the truffles!"
CHEERS to strange bedfellows. Scientists at Harvard and the National Association of Evangelicals have at last found common ground: putting the brakes on climate change. Step one: get the Popemobile up to 40 mpg by 2017. Eh...ya gotta start somewhere.
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One Year Ago in C&J: January 23, 2006...
JEERS to getting caught with your neurotransmitters down. It was a simple question---why was $12.7 billion cut from federal education programs? And right there and then, the "Education President" showed our kids what life in Republican-controlled America is all about: twitching, squirming and twisting your way to a dishonest answer right in front of our faces. Fool me once...
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And just one more...
CHEERS to boogying in Botswana. If you haven’t seen this amazing and oddly uplifting video of a guy dancing in locations around the world, it’s a must-watch. A lovely reminder that sometimes the best answer to the question Why? is, simply, Why not?
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Floor’s open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today’s Shameless Testimonial:
"The last thing we need in America is to take Cheers and Jeers out of our public lives and institutions!"
---Senator Sam Brownback
1/20/07
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