Almost all of my friends have raised families. My best friend raised her daughter as a single mom. My business partner is raising 5 kids with no money. Some people raise their kids with no home or no love.
My Hubby and I have raised a family with no civil rights. One of our sons is studying to be a Pastor, another daughter just got out of Meth Rehab. One just graduated from college and one is completely estranged from us. The youngest is 22 and has 1 year to go for his undergraduate degree. Eight kids... 9 grandkids... Christmas is expensive. Life is challenging. I'm tired. I think I need some recognition.
Our last son is the (shhh) favorite. He still lives at home. He's gay. (Don't get me wrong cause we love them all)
There are no handbooks for Gay fathers raising straight kids...there are even less for Gay fathers raising a gay son. Thank God he has the support that neither of us had when we were young.
We've been flying by the seat of our pants for awhile."
Hubby and me were raised in strict Republican fundamentalist Christian homes. We were both the eldest sons of large families. There were a lot of expectations placed on us. We're both over-achievers. With a combined total of 13 years of therapy...we've worked through some big shit in our lives.
We've known (a biblical term) each other for 15 years. My Mom and Dad just put us in the Will yesterday. Hey! Recognition... that's all I ever wanted anyway.
There's a certain catharsis transpiring as I write this diary. It's like a testimonial to endurance. It's like...I'm ready to score a touchdown and I can sense 5 big brutes running me down denying me the accolades I deserve. Maybe I should just fall down...there is a lot of recognition in that too. I have a reoccurring nightmare of standing in a stadium with 50,000 people in the stands screaming at me...YOU Cocksucker!!!...(Can I get a little recognition?)
Seriously, that's the last thing I need. Two years ago we moved into Tom Tancredo's district in the suburbs in Freeperville. Already the neighbors all refer to us as "the boys". Gladys Kravitz is alive and well and she lives down the street. (Honey, I get all the scoop.)
Children stare at us. Husbands go in their houses when I wave while mowing the lawn. Even the neighborhood dogs growl at us. (??!!) There's an official neighborhood garden club in our area. I've been creating quite a stir with my flower beds and Xeriscape water feature. They have even come down and knocked on my door and taken a tour of my gardens. I'm thinking of joining and running for President of the garden club. Maybe Netroots can sponsor me?
Of course I'm just kidding. DKOS has allowed me to come out of my shell a bit... a self outing of sorts. (Boy is that a controversial subject around here?) A chance to spread my political wings and realize that we can get involved at a grassroots level! I have been writing letters to Tancredo. I urged him not to block Katrina funds because of "corruption" in Louisianna. Corruption? humpff I reminded him of Republican corruption and partisan racial politics in a time of national disaster. What a tool! I wish I could Troll Rate him and hide his comments! I've been sending action alerts to Senator Allard. I receive back all the standard boilerplate bullshit responses...but Hey! at least I get a little recognition as a constituent.
Today I'm signing up for a DKOS lifetime subscription.It's time to take some action. It's time to support an anti-war rally at the State Capitol. I was once a Precinct Comitteeman, it's time to dust off the activist shoes and scroll some voters lists. I'm sure the position is wide open in my Precinct. I think we're the only Democrats for miles. Last month I donated 25,000 brochures to a holocaust memorial campaign. I'm worried about the Homophobes, Anti-Semites, racists and Xenophobes. They're everywhere out here.
BushCo and company have pushed the envelope. It's time to Push Back! I've worked and waited for 40 years personally for a chance for my kids,Hubby and I to live without fear and judgement in pursuit of the American Dream. It would be nice to have some domestic partner rights. Domestic Marriage was just voted down here in Colorado. It's not nice or smart to discriminate against big families like mine. It's plain wrong. Especially since I've never been to a Gay Pride parade in my life! That's gonna change too! (Do you think Banana Republic carries rainbow colored feathered boas at the local mall?)
Well, if I can't get any civil rights, if I have to pay taxes and have Tom Tancredo, Marilyn Musgrave and James Dobson represent my area... do you think I could I have some Goddamn respect and recognition??!!