Domestic violence by intimates has decreased greatly over the last 30 years. One of the most surprising things I learned after reading a number of articles on the subject was the statistic shown in this graph:
As women have gained more freedom, men have seen a decline in the number of homicides by intimates. There are varying opinions on why that might be, and the topic of domestic violence by intimates in general and the reasons for its decline is the topic for this weeks Feminisms series.
Feminisms is a series of weekly feminist diaries. My fellow feminists and I decided to start our own for several purposes: we wanted a place to chat with each other, we felt it was important to both share our own stories and learn from others’, and we hoped to introduce to the community a better understanding of what feminism is about.
Needless to say, we expect disagreements to arise. We have all had different experiences in life, so while we share the same labels, we don’t necessarily share the same definitions. Hopefully, we can all be patient and civil with each other, and remember that, ultimately, we’re all on the same side.
The idea for this diary came after reading this article in Tom Paine: Blog Against Sexism: Feminism Works and wanting to share the information contained in it. That article led me to check out this study by DOJ: Intimate Partner Violence in the United States. Here are some other interesting statistics and charts taken directly from the study.
For the most recent years, women between 20-24 and 25-24 were at the highest risk of nonfatal intimate violence.
While all violence was down, females who were separated had the highest rates of victimization, and married women had the lowest.
Both females and males who are separated have the highest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence while married people had the lowest.
I’m sure no surprise to anyone, this chart shows that those in the lowest income brackets have the highest victimization rates.
A few other statistics with no chart also taken from the DOJ study: Both males and females residing in rental housing were victimized on an average annual rate more than 3 times of that of their counterparts living in owned housing. Also nonfatal intimate partner violence is most frequently committed by individuals of opposite genders. From the study on average from 1993-2004 about 97% of women experiencing nonfatal intimate partner violence were victimized by a male and about 2% reported that the offender was another female. About 84% of males experiencing nonfatal partner violence were victimized by females and about 12% reported being abused by another male.
So lots of charts and statistics, but what does it all mean? The Tom Paine article lays it out pretty well for me:
"We've eliminated a good deal of defensive homicide by giving women easier access to shelters and ERs and by measures such as mandatory arrest laws" that restrain or punish abusive spouses, Gelles said.
McClatchy does an excellent job of noting the importance of feminist federal policy in fighting violence against women and intimate partners, including the passage of the all-important Violence Against Women Act of 1994, which authorized massive new aid from Washington for shelters, treatment, new police initiatives and research.
It wasn't easy: even conservatives who prioritize looking for ways to reduce violent crime were uneasy with the amount of funding requested, and faith-based groups continue to insist that domestic violence simply doesn't happen "within the sanctity of marriage."
But take a look at how McClatchy phrases the consensus opinion of experts involved in intimate couple violence on what the most important factors in decreasing that violence have been:
"– More divorces and fewer and later marriages. Fewer intimate relationships mean fewer opportunities for intimate violence, criminologists reason.
– More working women. Independent incomes make it easier to escape abuse.
– More assertive women. In the mid-`90s, only half who reported criminal levels of abuse to victimization-survey interviewers said they'd reported it to police. These days, nearly two-thirds do. "
Notice how each and every one of those are something that conservative anti-woman voices scream and moan and bewail as part of the problem rather than part of the solution. Fewer and later marriages, more working women and more assertive women all equal one thing: more women who are not dependent on men. More independent women means that feminism is working, and that feminist federal policies work.
You can read the entire article from McClatchy Washington Bureau here: Violence Against Intimate Partners Down. This article also caused me to look further into the book titled "Alone Together: How Marriage in America is Changing". There is a summary of the book available at: Harvard University Press. There is also a radio interview with one of the authors at: WAMU 88.5 FM.
I'd like to finish off by asking everyone here if they’ve ever been a victim of domestic violence and had a story to share or know someone who has been abused. What do you think the reasons are for the decline in domestic violence? Do you agree as I do that the Tom Paine article pretty well hits the nail on the head for what the feminist movement has contributed to the decrease?
I’ve had quite a few friends who were victims of domestic violence, and every one fit the profiles given above. We were young and it was while they were in their twenties. They felt trapped by their financial situations and were afraid of leaving the relationship for fear of physical harm as well as feeling like they had no where to go. Some of them had children involved, some did not, some were married and some were not but all of them felt trapped and helpless. All of them did eventually get out of those relationships. Do any of you have similar stories to tell?
One of my best friends in grade school’s older sister was shot by her spouse while they were separated. She nearly died and he killed himself after being trapped by the police. They lay side by side in intensive care at City Hospital and she lived and he didn’t. He would have shot one of their children also if she had not protected the child by laying over her and taking the bullets instead, and the other child thankfully was not at home. I was in eighth grade at the time, and the older sister was in her early twenties. They had split up and were living apart, and tried seeing each other again, and when she realized it wasn’t going to work out and told him so, he lost it and came back to the house with a shot gun which was the same gun he used to kill himself. She still has pellets in her head to this day since they would have done more harm than good to take all of them out, and by some miracle, she only incurred some very minor brain damage.
All of the people that I knew who had ever suffered any type of abuse fit the demographics laid out in the charts done in the study as most likely to be victims of domestic violence. Poor, early twenties, dependent, and the one who suffered a really violent act that by all odds should have taken her life, separated.
I’ve never been the type to attract anyone who was abusive. I was always a Type A personality, physically strong for a woman, independent, owned my own home fairly early in life, and have never fit the profile for someone who is likely to be abused, and never have been through it myself. I’ve never even been threatened with it. How many of you have similar stories to mine and have you ever even been threatened with abuse and if so how did you handle it? How many of you are gay and is domestic abuse among homosexuals as rare as the studies above seem to indicate, and if so why so? How many people have been involved in or been around abuse when it was also the rarer incident of it being a woman abusing a man? And lastly, are we on the right track with continuing the programs in this country that have led to the decline to begin with? It seems these "family values" people are always on the wrong end of the argument in every way that really matters and that make real differences in people’s lives as noted in the Tom Paine article.
Update:
After reading some of the comments posted already, I wanted to make a clarification to the diary. The small portion I posted of the study is by no means the entire study, and please go read the study for more information on it since it's huge. Lots more charts and graphs. Also, I didn't want to represent the study by any means as the final word on what the true statistics out there are on domestic abuse, but intended to spur a conversation on the topic instead, and get your thoughts on what the articles and study said. It's very hard to say how much domestic violence goes unreported, and a lot of it does. I look forward to hearing more from all of you and there have been some very insightful comments made already, so I thank everyone for that and look forward to hearing all of your analysis about the data that was posted and linked, along with your personal stories.
Update 2:
I wanted to draw attention to this excellent comment that was made here tonight by Fraggle:
quick list of ways to support someone
if you believe they are in an abusive relationship:
- tell them it's not their fault - whatever their partner is doing, tell them it's not their fault & they don't deserve to be hurt.
- Offer them options, but don't tell them what to do. They have at least one person trying to control them, they don't need more.
- reflect back what you are hearing/seeing/observing, rather than defining it for them: "it seems like X isn't that interested in your needs" "it sounds like you're scared of X" "I'm worried about you because of A, B & C"
- have patience with them - on average, women leave abusers 7 times before staying away for good.
- see if you can help them come up with a safety plan: would they like to keep a bag of essentials (and maybe a credit card) at your house so if they ever need to leave quickly they have some of what they'll need? Would they like to have a signal with you that means you should call the police (ie, a hangup phonecall)?
- if they're ready to hear it, give them info on domestic violence (800-799-7233 is the National DV hotline; here is a link to DV resources).
Thanks for sharing that information here, and it's important stuff for everyone to know.