update here and at bottom
0400hrs/Monday (four o'clock in the fraking morning...sigh)
I am very happy to receive any news. (understatement of my lifetime!) I opened my eyes an I jumped online and there was more news, thank God! I realize this is only the beginning, but for those interested--I'll share more information from my wife serving in the republican disaster in Iraq.
I am worried as she moves to her final place of operation. She is going to a small forward operation base and is a logistician. They are in charge of, among many other things, making sure equipment and personnel get from point A to B.
P.S. THANK YOU ALL for the great advice, the tips, the shared experiences and the genuine concern. I am able to turn off my "me, me, me thing" instantly--i'm serious--whenever my kids are near by or in need. The kids are doing okay, and I have learned much more than I expected...super info here!
P.S. The short time delay and the name dots are intended to protect (my hero) the real heros of this disaster. I'm sure the (idiot wingnut W supporters at the) Pentagon wouldn't like real time and loaded info coming directly to this web site...OH GOD, THE HORROR!
I wonder if there will be free speech in IRAQ!
We're no different than thousands of other progressive military families. We have been dreading this deployment for nearly a year. The sleepless nights and my trembling hands and frayed nerves were relieved only for a moment this morning when I got the news that my beloved bride is okay and in Baghdad.
Bare with me, this is my first attempt at a diary here on DK.
I am so happy because my wife wrote me. My excitement is both long and yet short lived, as she has months of mortars and bullets and IEDs to dodge. I have months of anguish, anxious times, prayers and pain to get through.
Sometimes it is very difficult to get through to famliy members. Some troops can't afford to buy phone cards. Here's a way to help. http://www.operationuplink.org/
My wife is an officer in Iraq. She did a decade of service as an enlisted soldier. She wanted to have an effect on policy and make decisions on a day to day basis when she chose to become an officer. She is in Iraq with a team tasked to train the Iraqis how to do their job. This particular had once been for the Special Forces. I know because I played the Green Beret game for a brief time. I was trained as an airborne grunt. I chose to be a trill seeker, a ground-pounder. Eleven-Bravo...Hooah. I thoroughly enjoyed my time wearing our nations uniform. I am from a long line of military men. Grandfather, Father, Uncle, Brother, spouse etc.
I got out in 2002 and refused offers to continue my service. I knew what was coming...many of us knew. Sadaam was going to be taken out and a future in the Army looked bloody. I was confused and shocked, then pissed off when hearing all the Iraq war drums. I searched for any connection to Sadaam and 9-11. I have been an Iraq war hater/critic from a year before we invaded. On 9/11, my wife and I were both were in uniform.
I am frazzled, I am tired and I am disgusted. My wife has a personal blog and posts from Iraq. She is often deleting my posts telling me I'm offending some who may be reading. She also warns me I am referring to her boss...you know who...the idiot Redneck who used to be our Governor when she and I met in Texas during the Clinton era. The military was actually enjoyable back then.
Today our friends in the service are either waiting to deploy, waiting to get home from deployment, looking forward to getting out of the sevice, or grinding out the final years until they can retire. Being in the Army isn't enjoyable for us anymore. If you have deployed to the republican disaster in Iraq, you never want to go back.
My Wife and I both joined the service to go to college, escape someplace, see the world, and change our lives. My beautiful spouse loves her career and enjoys working with the men and women who serve in our armed forces. My wife currently supports Obama. She has a couple of his books in her duffle bags. She also respects Clinton, but doesn't think she can win in the general election. I have yet to throw my sadddle atop an '08 beast of burden. Obama didn't support this war. That means a lot to me. I am hoping Jim Webb will be a large part of our nations foreign policy conversation. Wes Clark and Webb are my political heros today. My wife is my real life hero. She is the coolest woman on earth. You all would fall in love with her.
We are part of a growing fraternity of progressive military families who refuse to be silent in the company of wingers who insist those who serve are conservative. Hating-for-sport isn't in our nature, it is impossible for us to be conservative. Truth be told, we know many people in the Army who have had it with Bush. We know several officers who can't stand todays GOP. Many officers who've gotten out cite the GOP and their incompetence as the reason they got out.
My warrior-wife knows the Army inside and out. She can recite the ucmj and quote from document orders and work over any ignorant fool attempting to test her. She is a brilliant young officer and a great asset to the Army. She is also a spicy Latina willing to put her desert boot up your ass at the drop of a 5.56mm round.
I live in fear every day. I look down the street hoping not to see any cars coming. The dreaded government vehicle pulling into the driveway is my greatest fear. I become sick when I allow myself to imagine how I will react to that terrible news so many of us have endured. That being said, I do have to plan for my wife's death. What a terrible thing to write. I have to plan for her death because that is the responsible thing to do as the at-home parent for our kids. Arrangments have to be discussed. Burial plots, family, insurance, inheritance, etc. The only thing harder in life for me to deal with as a military spouse is the sight of those Government cars.
The tears and the crying and the goodbyes are very difficult, but sitting here day after day waiting for any communication is enough to make me want to take a long nap. A 15 month nap to be exact. That is how long my wife will be gone. Watching my wife say goodbye to her kids with tears running down her face and the kids crying is enough to make me want to completely lose it. I cried watching her cry saying both "goodbye for now" and "please never forget me" to our kids. She was saying she'll see them soon and saying goodbye forever in a fragile and motherly way. It is a terrible thing to load onto children. It is a difficult thing to do for a mom who will be at war for months on end. I haven't cried so hard, (in private) with full voice, and clenched fists, and red-faced with pain, and with tears running off my nose and chin in years. I am no longer a God-fearing agnostic, just in case. I have been praying a lot lately and my wife, who grew up in Catholic schools, taught the kids to pray nightly.
Please God, fogive me for my truckload of sins, and watch over my wife. I can't handle her death on my own and our children need their mom.
Today she sent me an email from Baghdad. There were several emails as the internet service is very slow from inside the wire. (Likely monitored by dickandkarl) Here is a sample for those who've hung with me this long. A few of the letters are meant for her list of peeps, including our kids school teachers etc.
Hello;
I am writing to you from Baghdad. I am still here waiting for a flight out to Taji. I just found out that the trip in the chopper is going to be only 10 min, so...we waited two days for a 10 minute ride...how about that?
This place is much like a dump, there’s nothing but reminders of war everywhere you look. Today, we took a bus to Camp Victory. In this compound, there are several camps together—Camp Stryker, Camp Slayer, Camp Victory, Camp Liberty and of course, BIAP. I don't know what that means) Victory is the camp that most of the politicians come and visit. It has palaces, what used to be nice buildings and even a man-made lake. To me, it is a shame what we have done to this city. I look around and I could see how everything was destroyed. We drove through what used to be a zoo and now it is just a field with over grown grass and trash. We went by a palace that was being built during the invasion and, four years later, it still has the cranes parked beside it but has not been touched in years. I was told that palace was being built for Saddam’s children but I am not sure how true that is.
Over in Camp Victory, we went to the PX. We were told that it had the biggest PX around so we had to go see it...well, it is tiny but I guess that here one should be happy with almost anything. We found a Seattle’s Best Coffee and we were drinking hot coffee in 100 degree weather but as I sweat my tail off, I was enjoying the only coffee that I’ve had for a while. We also made it to the dining facility which was huge. We were laughing saying that the soldiers here don’t need to eat all that food because they are going to end up fat.
There was so much to eat there... wow...
Well, I better get off here and take a nap...stay in touch and pray for my family.
Here is another one from my hero.
We flew yesterday in a C130 and it was the most uncomfortable ride ever....it fits 56 people and there were 52, can you believe that. We were in there like sardines....
Anyway, I am going to send this email and prepare the other one with pics and then I am going to get dressed so I can visit the dining facility. I love you and I miss you and I want you stop being mad, please stop being mad. Your recipes are funny (an idea I stole from blogland) but don’t be mad about things. It’s OK honey. M**** told me that we are going to write a book when I get back... LOL that’s cute. tequiero mucho
Here is one more
I went to my blog to try to do a post but I didn’t have time because I have to spend most of the time deleting things that you wrote. Babe, can you please STOP cursing. It looks really bad and I don’t know what to think when I read that. You sound so angry and like you are ranting on about stuff. Just write better things that are informative for me when I get on the blog and educational for other people that choose to look. I don’t want those things to be posted there...that can be bad for my career and there’s no need for an incredibly intelligent man to express himself that way. I understand that you are mad because I am here but you have to let go of the anger, it is not helping me and I am concerned about you when I read that. I really, really don’t want any "F" words in there or anything similar to it. I don’t want insults and name calling, especially to the people that I happen to work for. OK? Please.... I am afraid of people reading that and what they may think, it seems too radical.
Free speech is alive and well. Speaking of radical, this U.S. Army officer has a link to DKos on her personal blog!
I think I decided to write this here for my first diary because I want people to know there are thousands of liberals serving in the military. It is frustrating living as lefties in a world perceived by most to be nothing but wingers. I ran into my old drill Sgt a couple years ago and he said he was going to get out and join the peace corps.
When I heard Wes Clark speak out in 2003, I spent time learning about him and he became the person I would work for in 2004. He called me after dropping out of the '04 race and thanked me for my support. We were thrilled an accomplished, intellectual four star General and former NATOSAC was speaking out. We all understand there are Democrats serving and dying for our country. It was inspiring to hear one speaking out. Thanks to W orst ever, things are easier in the service, as there are troops in droves realigning themselves politically and asking questions.
I would post pics of camels and of palaces and of some of the quarters she is living in but I don't know how yet. I may put a link to her blog here one day. I'd have to ask her first. It is private, personal, and non-political blog offering a glimpse into her experiences with operation fucking oil whores, sorry honey.
My wife wants to run for office one day. She wants to become a US Senator and maybe President. She is certainly qualified.
Thank you for reading and allowing me to get this of my chest...writing is helpful for me.
Support the troops, even the ones who ride in on their triceratops.
From outside Ft Lewis, Washington
PEACE
any new news is GREAT news update
...drinking water here comes from the local river. A company purifies and bottles the water for the soldiers. There is something about that I do not like [(we've read the horror stories, they don't really 75% give a fuck as long as they are getting paid (ripping off) big dollars)] and so I realized that unconsciously I decreased my water intake and drank more juices or other beverages. We use little single packages of Crystal Light that we drop in the bottles to disguise the unfamiliar (we don't drink feces juice here at home so that's why she doesn't recognize it) taste.
We looked around at the little kiosk with jewelry and other marble, crystal and similar items sold mostly by Indians or Pakistani people. There is a lot of gold sold here; you can find incredibly beautiful earrings, rings and necklaces. (Buy whatever you want honey!)After going window-shopping as if we were on vacation, we took the bus back to Camp Stryker and then you snap right back into the reality.
We staged our bags outside of our tents at **** and loaded the bus to the flight line where two Chinook helicopters were coming to pick us up. To make a long story short, we were supposed to leave at **** but did not leave BIAP until ****. I did not mind it at all because as I said before, I can fall sleep anywhere, so this woman climbed on top of three duffle bags and went to sleep. Nothing effects me anymore, not the helicopters flying in and out, not the dust blowing all over my face--nothing woke me up. I guess that is what happens when you get used to be in these conditions.
Dragging four duffle bags, a rucksack and a laptop bag on the flight line while you are wearing 60 lbs of gear—-bullet proof vest, basic ammunition load, etc—is not easy. I was lucky enough to sit at the end of the chopper. If you have never seen a Chinook helicopter, the back end of it does not close all the way, thus, you can see out the back and you get the feeling that other people can see you too. This is an eerie feeling!I was looking down at a land that is being torn apart by war, by religious differences, by cultural differences and by us. That's war for ya.
The ride was about 15 minutes and though you might think, "all that waiting for a 15 minute ride," it sure beats having to drive out there where I could hear the gunshots the night before.
After it was all said and done, after getting our bags and getting the keys to our rooms, taking a shower—-getting warned about not even letting the water get to your mouth—-and setting up my space, it was 0430 in the morning and that’s when I slept, knowing that I had classes at **** the next day. I hope all of you had a good night...I miss having a place where I can stay for more than a week...
There is more from my superwoman
(After I get the little tidepools off to school, I'll load some pics from l'il george l'il-er dick's really fucked up 7th grade science fair project)
Morning came quick. I woke up a little disoriented—it seems to be norm lately for me—after a moment I realize where I was at and I ease my nerves. We are staying in a concrete building with open bay barracks. The barracks have a lock on the door and so does the bathroom facilities. Speaking of, the shower and the toilets here run with water from the Tigress River. The water was tested not long ago and found to have some bacteria that can make you have several unpleasant trips to the bathroom if drank. It also has a similar smell to sewer water when it comes out of the showerhead or faucet. Actually, the whole bathroom smells like (sh)it.
The (place) is a **-acre compound—forward operating base (FOB)—within a FOB. Camp ***** is adjacent to it but the Academy is actually in the **** Division Iraqi Army compound. Some of the structures here are permanent, concrete built—-but the classrooms are trailer-like pods inside of warehouses that could be removed if needed. The academy has a barbershop, free of charge, yay, perks! a small weight room and cardio room, an internet café, a small dining facility, but not the same quality of food we had in the other camps—-a very small shoppette, and a laundry facility where we drop off our laundry—-all of it—-and we pick it up in 24 hours—free of charge. (ask them for a fucking exit strategy!) To be honest with you, if I have to pick between somebody washing my underwear or better food...I will do my own laundry and cooking thank you.
We will be here for * days or so. The schedule is filled with classroom time where I imagine we get a better overall idea of our mission. I am not too thrilled to be here just because the food isn't good and I found that I could put up with almost anything as long as I can get some sleep and decent food. I hope that it will get better tomorrow but do not worry, I will ok if it is not.
There are many Iraqi nationals here—-as expected in an Iraqi compound. I have not seen many females around besides us, and two coalition forces females from Australia. The scenery is much like Arizona, dry but with some trees and other bushes. The heat is still intense but I feel like I am acclimatizing to the weather because I have actually walked out in the middle of the day when I used to hide until sundown before.
Today is Father’s Day and I feel so guilty because all I can give to my Dad and to ******* is a call or an email. I didn't even know it was Father’s Day (I honestly forgot as well honey, no sweat--p-p-pun) until late yesterday while I was waiting on the flight line. Time here passes anonymously and every day seems the same as the last; there are no weekends, no time off, no personal time and no special occasions. Happy Father’s Day....
This one is especially for me!
Hi ****
I made it to ****, I will send you the details in my little letter that I always send out. This place is worse than the other ones. I guess they are getting us ready for the crappy place that we will end up. The food is not as good and there is no variety at all but I will make it through because I have no choice. I saved your blog post (THANKS KOSSAKS!) and I am going to read it when I get to the room. I can't wait but I don't want to read it in a hurry, I want to take my time and enjoy it.
I was looking in the messenger but I didn't see you. I miss you a lot.
I am sorry I didn't get to email yesterday but I love you and I hope that you had a Happy Fathers Day! (next week sweetie!) I don't have much time here and I have to get off the computer but remember that I love you and tell the kids that they are my everything. Thank you for the pictures, they were awesome...tell (our oldest) that I am very proud of him.
I love you
Your wife...