The usually pretty good folks at Wired's Danger Room have brought to light an invaluable Short Guide to Iraq, put out by the Pentagon for your average GI Joe.
That tall man in the flowing robes you will see soon, with the whiskers and the long hair, is a first class fighting man, skilled in guerilla warfare. Few fighters in any country, in fact, excell him in that kind of situation. If he is your friend, he can be a staunch and valuable ally. If he should happen to be your enemy - look out!
Hmmm...wish I got that info before...Now when was this book published for the troops? Hmmm...1943? What other bits of wisdom are in here?
Now what was that strategic significance that Iraq has today? Today, it is the black, sticky liquid that dare not speaketh its name. What was it in 1943?
...Iraq has great military importance for its oil fields, with their pipelines to the Mediterranean Sea.
So at least the average GI Joe in 1943 really knew why he was there.
[The important oil field at Kirkuk] was discovered in 1927, but it wasn't until 1935 that production began in earnest...These...are among the richest prizes that Hitler would like to grab, and they are heavily guarded. Guarding and defending them may be among your most important military duties.
So what about the people there? You know, the Moslems?
You can probably tell a mosque by its high tower. Keep away from mosques. (Italics original) If you try to enter one, you will be thrown out, probably with a severe beating.
So, how should I talk to people about their religion? I guess I shouldn't:
It is a good idea in any foreign country to avoid any religious or political discussions. This is even truer in Iraq than in most countries, because it happens that here the Moslems are divided into two factions something like our division into Catholic and Protestant denominations - so don't put in your two cents worth when Iraqis argue about religion.
Would have been nice if some people in the White House and Pentagon read this before we went to Iraq. Now, the best statement in the whole friggen' book:
There are also political differences in Iraq that have puzzled diplomats and statesmen. You won't help matters any by getting mixed up in them.
Looks like they STILL puzzle diplomats and "statesmen" like Paul Wolfowitz.
What other advice is there for me, the average GI Joe?
- Do your swearing in English.
- Do not give them pork to eat or even give it to them even in fun.
- Do not urinate in their presence. They do it squatting and dislike seeing others doing it standing up.
- Do not make a pass at a Moslem woman or there will be trouble. Anyway, it will not get you anywhere. Prostitutes do not walk the streets but live in special quarters of the cities.
Did an Army manual just tell me where to go pick up hookers in Iraq?
And finally, the last bit of good advice is this:
American success or failure in Iraq may well depend on whether the Iraqis (as the people are called) like American soldiers or not. It may not be quite that simple. But then again it could.
There is a lot of good advice in this book. Wow, maybe we should have perused it before we went back to Iraq, considering how little our leadership knew about Iraq before we invaded. I wonder if they did read this book...hmmm...
Sadly, no....