Four hours from now---8:11pm EDT
"And welcome to tonight's Talking Points Memo. Last Friday I told you that I was going to destroy the hate smear site the Daily Kos with photographic evidence that would make it abundantly clear that this is a site that needs to be shut down. I urge you to send the children into the next room, because the image I'm about to show you is disturbing. I gave you fair warning, smear merchants, but you chose to ignore The Factor, something any evildoer does at their own peril. Take a look, America..."
[Click---Pause]
[CRACKBOOM!!! SPLOT!]
Thank god I found you! Listen! Underneath all this wormhole slime it's me...Bill in Portland Maine! I'm here to save you! Quick, into the wormhole...we've got to go back in time!
QUICKLY!
<Cont'd.>
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[CRACKBOOM!!! SPLOT!]
The present---4:11pm EDT
Good, you made it through the wormhole. Don't worry, your buttocks will regenerate when you go back to the future.
Listen carefully: In four hours, this blog will be closed by the proper authorities. Last Friday Bill O'Reilly gave us fair warning when he said: "Come Monday, the final nail, but it is disturbing so be forewarned."
We responded the way most people do when their mighty empire is about to crumble: with parties, orgies, and a haughty air of business as usual.
And now it may be too late.
As I write this in the future, but which you're reading now in the past (I think), The official Fox News security fleet is surrounding our community. They mean to shut us down. And only you can stop O'Reilly and his goons.
There's no time to spare. Listen...LISTEN! I want you take this photo and swap it with the one O'Reilly plans to use tonight. You'll use my wormhole to infiltrate the O'Reilly Factor graphics suite while they're in the bathroom doin' their 4:15 bong hits. You'll then use the wormhole to take yourself back to the future and back to safety.
Since you're using my wormhole, I will cease to exist. NO! DON'T CRY! I need you to be strong! Listen to me now. Listen to me! I need you to be strong and swap out that photo. Over 129 thousand Kossack user IDs are at stake. You must do this. Especially if you want your buttocks to grow back.
Tell everyone at DailyKos... Tell 'em... Aw, jeez, just tell 'em they're the best.
Oh, and one more thing: I am your father. Good luck. Now go. GO!!!
[CRACKBOOM!!! SPLOT!]
8:11pm EDT
"And welcome to tonight's Talking Points Memo. Last Friday I told you that I was going to destroy the hate smear site the Daily Kos with photographic evidence that would make it abundantly clear that this is a site that needs to be shut down. I urge you to send the children into the next room, because the image I'm about to show you is disturbing. I gave you fair warning, smear merchants, but you chose to ignore The Factor, something any evildoer does at their own peril. Take a look, America... Take a look at the true face of Daily K... Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa??!!! Damn you! DAMN YOU TO HELL, DAILY KOS PINHEADS!!!"
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I will always be watching over you, DailyKos. Alwaaaaaays...
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