Bye-bye, Alberto!
It looks as if they're going to try to get Michael Chertoff to take your place.
That should be interesting, given Katrina. But Republican Senator Jeff Sessions on NPR's "All Things Considered" seemed real keen today on the idea... he was blaming all that Hurricane Katrina stuff on somebody else--I believe Session's words were "he has a very difficult job, and he's done very well." Micahel Chertoff is the top choice (National Review's "The Corner" was also pushing him. No links; not for partisan reasons, their blog is just really annoying.)
Ah yes, but is the 2nd anniversary of Katrina just about now... that wouldn't really do, would it. Who do we have. Who do we have?
TED OLSON!
Say hi to Ted, everybody!
Hi, Hi, Ted!
Uh-oh, Ted. Looks like you were involved with the Arkansas Project!
Uh-oh...
Bad news for Ted!
Looks like you LIED UNDER OATH, TED!
And... heeeeeere's The money quote:
"On Olson's role in the Arkansas Project:
Leahy: Were you involved in the so-called Arkansas Project at any time?
Olson: Only as a member of the board of directors of the American Spectator I became aware of that. It has been alleged that I was somehow involved in that so-called project. I was not involved in the project in its origin or its management.
The facts: An investigation by Murray Waas revealed that Olson "provided legal advice to both the American Spectator and the Arkansas Project," in addition to serving on the boards of four conservative political groups funded by Richard Mellon Scaife, the reclusive Pittsburgh billionaire who has funded and has ties to many prominent right-wing groups, including the Federalist Society, which has served as a veritable breeding ground for Bush's judiciary appointments. Both Olson and his then-colleague John Mintz at the law firm of Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher advised the Arkansas Project from its inception in 1993. "Olson is somebody who Scaife would trust to see that nothing went wrong and that his money would not be wasted," a source told Waas at the time. "
I think Alberto had a problem with lying under oath as well, Ted.
(Insert: Frowny face of Alberto. Yes, I could link to an image, but it's so much more fun just to imagine.)
Well, that was fun! Bye-bye, Ted! (Everyone: Be sure to tell Leahy and Specter! Okay, maybe just Leahy! Specter would just pretend to be concerned and then vote for him anyway!)
And who are the other Democrats on the Senate judiciary committee? The ones who need to know that Ted Olson LIED UNDER OATH?
Well, let's see, There's...
Kennedy (oh, he's good, we like him), and Biden (well, we like him when he's angry), and Kohl, (eh, kind of a wimp), and Schumer (rock on, bitches!), and Feingold (ROCK THE HOUSE, BITCHES!), and Feinstein (oh dear), and Durbin (not bad, not bad), and Cardin (not enough info), and Whitehouse (Mars, Bitches!)
And the Republicans: Hatch, Coburn, Kyl, Cornyn, Brownback, Sessions (UGH! My God! The EVIL! IT BURNS!)
Translation: Boy, did Mitch McConnell know what he was doing. He doesn't fuck around, that one.
And Grassley (known for his brief fits of sanity), and Specter (Yay! Let's pretend we're independent!)
Well, let's get on the phones, people.
CONTACT INFORMATION:
Democratic Phone: (202) 224-7703
You know what to do.
About Ted Olson.
Who lied under oath.
Which is bad.
Very bad.
(Okay, I got Olson covered. Somebody take Chertoff, and the, uh, the next person who isn't James Comey. Man, AG James Comey. That'd be cool. NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.)
Major props to Joe Conason! God damn, he's a good investigate reporter! Clone Joe Conason!