... kiss your ass good-bye. -- A dinner conversation.
Before I go on, I should let you know that I'm not even supposed to know my friend is in the CIA, but we've been friends for a long time and when he started, they made the mistake of interviewing me as a reference for his Super Top Secret Double-Naught clearance.
What he had to say was chilling and it involved Keith Olberman, so even though I don't have anything substantial to add, or even say, I expect this diary to shoot right to the top of the recommends.
... more fascinating stuff below.
Now, if the mere mention of KO's name doesn't get you to hit the recommend button (and I fucking know it will), then maybe some scary stuff my CIA friend, who really isn't in a position to know anything important, said.
- The government is targeting KO for assasination. Apparently, Bush has had his feelings hurt and wants KO gone. Look out for Anthrax, Keith!
- We're going to attack Iran and then China, Russia and Belgium are going to invade us to stop us from ourselves.
- The Bird Flu is a super top-secret government plan to rid the world of song birds.
- The Bush twins were in South America for the sole purpose of spreading herpes throughout the continent.
- Cuba has plans to invade Guantanamo and free the prisoners.
I've got to go now. I'm afraid my life may be in danger.
Update: KO is dreamier than ever!
Update 2: KO to talk on TV tonight!!!! Tune in. I think he's doing a special comment on the Bush twins' herpes spreading in SA!!!!!!!! OMG!
Update 3: This just in! KO is the cat's pajamas!