Good Morning From The Substitute C&J Bunker In Central Carolina.
(I can't believe they took out Valencia. That's gonnna leave a mark.)
First Up: Cheers to Bill, Andy, and All of you borderline crazoids Lovely and Talented Kossacks who splash in the Pool.
Jeers to Condi's Three Way in the MidEast. Is there any reason to believe that this trip will be more productive than the others?
It's a lucky break that the Traditional Libation here in the Pool is Rum 'n Coke. Screwdrivers are gonna get real expensive. According to the AP and everyone else, the citrus growers in the West are feeling fresh frozen.. Jeers to that. Sympathies to the growers.
More Swoosh/Gong Pure. Comedy Gold. Stuff Below The Fold.
Is there any wonder that this administration can't shoot straight?
The Pentagon is Craig's List without oversight. This is what happens when the bozos are in charge.
Fond Nostalgia: After 10 days of worldwide vigils, Paul McCartney was released in 1980 from a Tokyo jail where he was being held for marijuana possession. The World breathed a collective sigh of relief. Ever eager to learn his lesson but having lost his short term memory, he and Linda were arrested in Barbados for possession of cannabis in 1984.
The Musicians Shall Lead The Way. In 1938, Benny Goodman refused to play Carnegie Hall when black members of his band were barred from performing. They changed their policy. Way to go Benny!!
Cheers to the hard working Kossacks doing Diary Rescue.
Sorry to the people who think that C&J takes up space better used for Very Important Subjects. Kossacks gotta chuckle sometimes, too.
Say Grumble Happy Birthday to Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who erupted (not unlike a boil) among us in 1947.
Optional Email Forward
Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
In 1950, Gustav Krupp, a German businessman, took his Big Dirt Nap. What a guy!! WMDs AND Slavery!! The perfect NeoCon wet dream!!
We want only loyal workers who are grateful from the bottom of their hearts for the bread which we let them earn.
And while we're at it, Bob Jones University (the Carnegie Hall venue for Republicans) lost it's Founder, Robert "Bob" Jones on this day in 1968.
Jeers: The 18th Amendment went into effect today in 1920. Fortunately, it did not quite live long enough to attend it's own bar mitvah. The party was magnificent.
Cheers to The Shrub's approval polls. People Are waking up from the deep sleep and they are not liking what they see. There is hope after all.
Cheers to Maggie Gyllenhaal who was born in 1977. Just because.
Equal Opportunity Cheers to Ted 'Lurch" Cassidy who passed from us in 1979. Not just another pretty face.
Cheers to the Front Pagers.
The regular Central Carolina Millstones Mileposts will appear as if by magic in the following tip jar.
What are you Cheering about today?