An intense investigation into the strange odor that shook the nerves of Manhattanites this morning has turned up an unexpected source: the 109th Congress.
The tail of how the fetid stench of what many consider one of the most irresponsible and corrupt U.S. congresses in history polluted the already polluted air of Manhattan was revealed by a surprising source: Melania Trump.
The smell, Mrs. Trump revealed, had taken refuge in her husband’s hair.
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On Dec. 10, after the 109th officially finished its business of attempting to destroy democracy in the United States, Mrs. Trump explained, its stinking, rotten soul hopped the Acela from the Capital to New York City and, not sure where to turn, immediately looked for the biggest blowhard it could find, the aforementioned Mr. Trump.
While Mr. Trump was more than willing to provide refuge to the 109th in his hair, unfortunately, even The Donald's hair, like the Death Star, has its weaknesses.
Mrs. Trump, her eyes squinting as she recalled the horror, explained that her husband’s media war with the newest star of ABC’s daytime talk show "The View," Rosie O’Donnell, caused her husband such consternation that it disrupted the hairspray to implant equilibrium required to maintain the carbon-shell like integrity of that frightening nest on the head of the ubiquitous "Apprentice" star.
"When the hair went, baby," exclaimed Mrs. Trump, "it went!"
Thus sayeth The Donald's hair to the 109th Congress: You're fired!