3rd in a continuing series of Con Artistry, as practiced by Republicans...
The Biggest Cons: The Arctic Fallacy
The Biggest Cons: The Diet-Pill Fallacy
The con I'm thinking of now was shared with me by one of its practitioners better known by another name; late-night infomercial marketer.
I asked him, "How can this stuff get sold when it falls apart so quickly?"
His eyes twinkled as he leaned close to share the secret...
To the Flipmobile!
My informant was thrilled to let me in on it. "The secret is that nobody uses these things. They get bought, they get gifted, they get thrown in a closet."
He summed up with, "They just want to have it. They don't want to use it."
And no other product, he told me, is this more true of than those exercise machines.
We've all seen them. Many of us have bought them. How many of them get used?
All we have to do is check eBay for the pricey ones. The cheap ones, the kind my informant specialized in, just gather dust. Because they aren't made to be actually used. They are made to give the seeker the feeling they've, by gum, done something.
Thus, Republican promises.
They say they are the party of "family values, strong defense, and fiscal responsibility." Yet they destroy families, make a mockery of keeping us safe, and have run the deficit up to unprecedented levels.
Yet, this con works because who doesn't want to be in favor of family values, strong defense, and fiscal responsibility? It sounds so good.
But when we try to actually use it, it squeaks and clanks and falls apart.
Oh, it's because we bought the cheap one, the Republicans cry. Give us more money, and we'll build a bigger one!
It's still a con. Because I remember Bush the First, and his astonishment that anyone actually believed his campaign promises. They are only campaign promises! And Bush the Second, who increases pollution and calls it the Clear Skies Program.
They are not ashamed, any more than my informant was about divulging trade practices. Following through on the exercise program, just like following through on what the people say they want, is hard work.
And they are astonished, just like Bush the First, when people have different expectations. You bought the con, they say with a twinkle.
By the time it's evident it doesn't work, the warranty has expired.