Jim Broussard, a self-proclaimed "veteran" and possible member of a ZZ Top tribute band, pulled up to a Reno, Nevada bar and cut down an American flag flown below the Mexican flag in violation of display guidelines contained in the federal Flag Code. Said Mr. B. as he wadded up the flag like a beach towel and brandished a knife at the camera, "If they want it back, they can fight me!" The bewildered bar owner, an American citizen, retrieved the Mexican flag from the sidewalk.
(satire follows)
Noticing the Irish bar next door had the Irish flag crisscrossed to the right of the American flag, also in violation of the federal guidelines, Mr. B. whipped out the knife, got to work, and threw the furrin flag in the nearest spittoon.
Mr. B. then proceeded to Jake and Flake’s pre-owned car lot, where, also in violation of the Flag Code, a gigantic non-synthetic American flag was being flown on a rainy day. Climbing the pole and brandishing his knife at the bewildered car salesmen below, he bellowed as he cut the flag down, "You commie symps are gonna have to fight me for this!"
Thelma Thimblethread was picking up a few goodies for her hubby’s weekly pinochle game at the local Quick Stop when she was tackled to the floor by what looked to be Santa Claus on Prozac. Cutting off her American flag T-shirt (another flagrant violation of the Flag Code) with his big ol’ honkin’ knife, Mr. B. screamed, "This Army vet ain’t gonna stand for it!!!"
Sadly, Mr. B’s patriotic mission as a self-appointed enforcer of the Flag Code was cut short when he tried to stop that scofflaw George W. Bush from autographing little American flags for supporters. The Secret Service just don’t respect law-abiding citizens I guess.