Minneapolis, MN – Many prominent Republicans voiced their concern about the withering criticism leveled at industrial food giant General Mills during a time of war. House minority leader, John Boehner went as far to call critics "un-American." Said Boehner, "These unfair criticisms of General Mills can only undermine the moral of our troops, who happen to love the free market."
Critics have accused General Mills of a cover-up during their recent voluntary recall of nearly 5 million Totino’s brand and Jeno’s brand frozen pizzas suspected of being tainted with the E. Coli virus.
While General Mills did acknowledge the existence of tainted pepperoni, it refused to disclose who actually made the pepperoni. Company spokesperson, Tom Forsythe, said only that General Mills did not make the diseased pepperoni adding, "We wash our hands of this whole mess. In fact, we recommend a good hand-washing for anyone who has touched our products."
At least eight people were hospitalized with the food-born illness, which can cause bloody diarrhea and abdominal cramps lasting a few days on average. Four of the victims have developed kidney failure, according to a CDC statement.
Another Republican, who asked not to be identified, told us "a little bloody diarrhea is a small price to pay to win the war on terror."