From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Nothing earth-shaking this morning. Just a few interesting predictions and snarky bits to have with your green eggs and ham...
"I thought this was nice: earlier today Martha Stewart showed Karl Rove how to slip off an ankle monitor."
--Jay Leno
"Arnold Schwarzenegger, now exposed as the most corrupt sitting governor in the United States, will never win another election."
--Lawrence O'Donnell, making his prediction at the end of The McLaughlin Group.
"Part of the problem [of the proliferation of Muslim extremists] is that Islam doesn't have a Pope. So there isn't one guy who can say, `This isn't kosher.'"
--Newsweek columnist Fareed Zakaria, on the July 20 edition of The Daily Show.
[Cable news video clip of political pundit Susan Estrich talking about Supreme Court nominee John Roberts: "He's nicer than Scalia...more pleasant."]
Jon Stewart: "Nicer than Scalia? Aren't we all nicer than Scalia? It's like saying he's whiter than [Clarence] Thomas."
--The Daily Show
"The repositioning of Hillary Clinton continues. She's now the champion of all reservists and National Guard people who want reasonably-priced medical care. And she's going to have a showdown with the White House and she's going to win, with the support of two Republicans: [Virginia Senator] George Allen and [South Carolina Senator] Lindsay Graham."
--Newsweek's Howard Fineman, on the "Tell Me Something I Don't Know" segment of the July 24 Chris Matthews Show.
"Vice President Dick Cheney went to George Washington University Hospital and got a colonoscopy. The doctor said his colon is fine, but his esophagus is inflamed. Let me tell you something: if you finish a colonoscopy and you have a sore throat, that is a very thorough exam." --Jay Leno
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Cheers for Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Note: Your `Lucky 7' lottery numbers are 5, 8, 21, 29, 36, 40 and
By the Numbers:
Days `til the Festival de Joie in Lewiston: 10
Days `til Labor Day: 41
Percent of July that's over: 84%
Americans who abuse prescription drugs such as Oxycontin: 15 million+ (More than total people who abuse cocaine, heroin, inhalants and hallucinogens)
(Source: Columbia University study via The Week magazine)
Number of killed or captured suspects reported so far by U.S. media to be Al Qaeda's "number 3" man: 4
(Source: Atrios)
Percent of Americans who believe John Roberts should state his position on abortion: 64%
(Source: Washington Post/ABC News poll)
Your Puppy Pic of the Day: "Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh, greetings from Camp Dogawatha..."
CHEERS to Discovery II: The Sequel. The Shuttle is set to go up...up...up at 10:39 this morning, "glitch or no glitch." Why? Because a few more minutes on the pad and the darn thing would've gotten towed.
JEERS or CHEERS to labor in revolt. Four---count `em, four---labor unions have decided to leave the AFL-CIO because they want to focus more on reversing declining union membership rather than politics. A new beginning...or death by a splinter?
CHEERS to donkey power. Buried in the new USA Today/CNN/Gallup poll---literally the last line of the piece---is this tidbit: "Favorable ratings of the Republican party fell to 46%, the lowest since Bush was elected president; 52% had a favorable view of the Democratic Party." Carry on, Harry, Nancy and Howard...you're doing fine. And John Conyers...you're just a keg `o dynamite, you are.
CHEERS to compassionate conservatism. 14 years ago today, President George H.W. Bush signed the Americans with Disabilities Act. He didn't want anything to stand between his son and the White House.
JEERS to lookie but no touchie. The Archbutthead of Canterbury---clearly coming down off a crack high---says gay priests can have civil unions as long as they promise not to have sex. That's right, Father...we catch you coming to work in the morning with a grin on your face, yer outta there.
JEERS to shredding the night away. C&J can only imagine the flurry of activity that transpired when---on the night of September 29, 2003---Alberto Gonzales called White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card to tell him an investigation of the Valerie Plame leak would begin in exactly 12 hours. If there's a god, there will be a cleaning crew who saw eeeeverything...
CHEERS to "USA! USA! USA!" Lance Armstrong wins Tour de France #7. But he won't try for #8. Quitter.
CHEERS to seeing double...twice. LeAnn Beloyan of North Hanover, Pennsylvania, did something that only happens once every 25 million births (well, besides shouting, "This pain is great! I love it!"): she gave birth to quadruplets that also happen to be two sets of identical twins (Samuel and Benjamin, Sarah and Lauren). The proud parents now have something identical in common, too---sleepless nights.
CHEERS to using the old noodle. Problem: losing the little plastic pipe that comes with your can of WD-40. Solution: Hold-It, the totally tubular straw holder. Coincidentally, it also holds all of this year's Republican-sponsored bills that have actually benefited the country.
CHEERS to oldies but goodies. Vintage TV is on the DVD schedule today with various seasons of The Brady Bunch, Remington Steele, Mary Tyler Moore, Gilligan's Island, and 3rd Rock from the Sun. And, just as a reminder that movie suckage existed long before this year, Bo Derek's 1984 yawner, `Bolero' gets a release. To which we can only ask: Um...why???
JEERS to int... JEERS to int... JEERS to int... The average employee gets interrupted 16 times a day for non-work-related stuff. The Week magazine quotes Jared Sandberg of Careerjournal.com as saying recovering from each interruption gobbles up another 3 minutes. Recommended action: "Don't look up. Don't engage. Don't make eye contact." Oh...and keep a shovel in the corner. Just in case.
JEERS to rock icons getting old. Happy 62nd birthday, Mick Jagger! "I can't get no...bowel contraction. Met-a-mucil...starts the action..."
CHEERS to the roots of summer. Some say exercise is the best thing to clear your head. I say it's spending a lazy evening pulling weeds. They're the things with all the blooms...right?
C&J Flashback: July 26, 2004...
CHEERS to Lance Armstrong. Wins 6th consecutive Tour de France. To even the playing field next year, he'll use a banana seat and put trading cards in the spokes. [7/26/05 update: Even with that, he still plastered `em. Wow.]
CHEERS to Entertainment Weekly. Their TV critic calls Tucker Carlson "A real creep" with "cold dead eyes that seem to match his heart." (Via Atrios). And that's the tame version.
And just one more...
CHEERS to ice-cold Gs. Can't stand the heat but don't want to cool down like the common folk? Keep a couple of these $60 babies in your freezer for an elitist iced latté anytime. Hey...pinky up!
Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless Testimonial:
"Cheers and Jeers does seem out of line, but of course I've been seeing warning bells for several years."
Dean Baker, co-director
Center for Economic and Policy Research
7/25/05
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