. . . about who we will support politically; about what we will have for dinner; and sometimes about how we will spend the next part of our lives. It is the latter about which I wish to converse.
For some time now I have been wrestling with what to do next in my life. Partially as a result of the contacts I have made as a result of writing, here and elsewhere, I have had some opportunities open up before me. Also, as as result of things I have done educationally such as obtaining my national board certification, other educational possibilities have also opened up. For the past several months I have been exploring opportunities of one sort or another. And on Friday I made an important decision.
But you will have to keep reading to know about what I write. Sorry for the tease, but it is the only way I can put this into a proper context.
One of the opportunities that became available was to become a principal through a special one year program called New Leaders for New Schools. I took the step of applying to go into the program in Washington DC, and on Monday I had my first round of screening, having applied under the early deadline where I would get a final decision no later than February: this was important because if I am to leave my current school I need to give them as much time as possible to replace me, and so that students do not arrange their schedules to have me as a teacher, perhaps for a course that no one else can teach (Comparative Religion). I was told that I would be informed whether I was passed on to the final round within three weeks, but in the meantime I should obtain copies of all my transcripts (in my case, a lot as I have attended 10 post secondary institutions) and certificates, as these would be needed for the final round interviews. I was also asked to get a letter of recommendation from someone who had supervised me educationally, a request to which my principal immediately agreed, even though he has made clear that he did not want to lose me as a teacher in his school.
Much of my reflection during the past week has been considering the implications should I be selected. It would make it impossible to attend Netroots Nation, as I would be in training in Boston. It would restrict how much blogging I might be able to do. The former was saddening, but not disqualifying. But the latter is quite troublesome to contemplate.
For better or worse, mine has apparently become an important voice on education, even though a majority of my online writing is on other subjects, such as environment, Constitution and Bill of Rights, justice, economics, politics, music, literature, and even cats! I supposed were one to reread the the frontpage story soliciting input for contributing editors most mentions of my blogname would be in that context, for what I write on education. I have begun to get regular gigs writing about educational books, to the point where one major publisher will give me a free copy of any of their works about which I am willing to write, and one professional outlet has said they will publish whatever book reviews I send them.
Of greater importance were the words of several people whose judgment I trust. Jay Mathews of the Washington Post urged me to keep writing, as did Deborah Meier and Diane Ravitch, who share a blogging experience at Education Week entitled Bridging Differences in which two important figures who differ on a number of key features work together because of their common passion to improve public schools, a passion I share.
Of greatest importance were the words of my wife, Leaves on the Current, who insisted that I needed to keep writing, about education and about other subjects. She pointed out that much of my writing is fueled by my experience of the classroom. Actually, I already knew this, having at the start of the school year written a diary entitled Teaching is my essential political action. I ended that diary as follows:
I cannot do all that I might want. I lack some skills, and certainly have insufficient time and energy. So I do what is the most important political action I can undertake. I teach in a public school, seeking to empower the future generations in the hope that the democratic republic from which I have benefited for most of my life will still be there long after I die. I can think of nothing more important for me to do. Teaching is my essential political action.
What is yours?
Friday night Leaves on the Current worked quite late, so I picked her up. As we drove home I told her that I had made a decision to withdraw my application for New Leaders and to remain in the classroom, at least for the next year. Her reaction was a very emphatic YES!
Often in my life I have had people encourage me to do things because it is what they would do with the gifts they perceive me as having. The issue of their perception of my gifts is almost irrelevant, and I think this is something we each need to remember in dealings with others. It is worth offering our perceptions and not damaging to point out opportunities that the person we are addressing might not have considered. But each person should probably listen to her own heart, to do what in his mind makes the most sense for him.
I do not know if I would have been passed through to the next and final round of New Leaders, but I strongly suspect I would have. It would have been interesting to keep my name in just to find out, perhaps to gain the assuaging of my sometimes fragile ego that others wanted to offer me something that carried a certain amount of prestige. But it would have been dishonest, and it would also be unfair to ask my principal to write that letter of recommendation.
I realize that my withdrawal might also be sheltering me from the blow of NOT being passed on to the final round, or of being rejected there. That’s true, but since I honestly know it is not what I want to do, I really don’t care. The last question I was asked in the interview was why I wanted the job of an urban school principal, it was so hard? My answer, which was honest, was that I was not sure that I did, that I was exploring how I could make what is left of my work life, whether it is 5 or 8 or 15 years, the most useful, productive and meaningful period that I could. I have found that remaining in the classroom, at least for now, is the best and most honest way I can make a difference.
I will continue to write. My writing online inevitably also leads to off-blog correspondence, and I have to allow time for that as well. I am no longer doing musical theater, and have not yet made up my mind whether I will continue to coach soccer, as that takes away time at the height of the political season, and I feel an obligation to be more active than coaching allows me to be. I won’t make up my mind on that for at least a few more months.
Dailykos will remain the principal outlet for my online writing on all topics. It does not matter what my official role might be, and besides, that is not my decision to make. I trust Markos has made whatever decisions he believes will be best for the site and given his track record I am sure they are good ones. I am honored that others thought enough of me to mention me as much as they did. I am even more honored by the willingness people have to engage with the writings I offer even as an ordinary diarist.
I am a teacher. I am also a bit of a pest. I ask difficult questions. I put out challenges. I want people to think, to explore possibilities. I do not have answers to many of the questions I raise, and sometimes my only role is to ask the first question and those that arise in response are far more cogent and important. It is like that in my classroom, and I am not surprised that happens with my writing here.
This community has welcomed me, and supported me in my attempts at expression and analysis. I have shared some of my explorations online, so I felt I owed the community an answer when I made up my mind. That is the purpose of this diary.
I thank you for your patience in reading, and for those of you who have supported my exploration, my thinking aloud.
I think the decision I have made is right for me. I can only wish that each you when you have to explore and make difficult decision have as much support as I have experienced here.
Peace.