I’m going back to school to get a degree in Mass Media Stenography (MMS). I’ll be attending G.I.U. (Global Ideologies University).
Inspired G.I.U. mission statement:
"Each graduate is fully competent to focus on rationales which maximize global uniformity and convincingly communicate such reasoning to people and organizations which doom our world to individualized thoughts and actions."
My goals: Once I graduate, I hope to acquire employment with Fox News or some other global, balanced news organization.
My intent is to aid in accurate dissemination of the thought of powerful people who demonstrate societal benefits accrued by concentration of power and wealth. Through study and hard work, I intend to perfect the art of recording the thoughts of such people without resorting to the distortions inherent in analysis or investigation.
Course of study: Some of the courses I plan to take are as follows.
History of Journalism: A comprehensive overview of journalism through the years. This course points out the deleterious effects of journalistic analysis, investigation and publishing conclusions other than those of the wealthy and powerful.
Journalistic Ethics: An in-depth overview of the pitfalls of inaccuracy, whether through poor transcription of the thoughts of the powerful, or misplaced application of pseudo-conscience.
Economics, the engine of One-world thought: A thorough overview of how profit as an over-riding goal will produce global societal benefits to those who matter while reducing input from those who don’t.
Means and Methods: A detailed overview meant to instill the ability to catch nuance and language of the powerful which express the core of the Global Ideology. The student is indoctrinated in the importance of repetition of such language ("sound bites") so as to marginalize anti-GI thoughts.
This total-immersion overview will take about three weeks, after which, I will be looking to take a meaningful job like Tony Snow or Michele Malkin. Aren’t you jealous of my new life direction?
If any of you has suggestions for additional coursework, please let me know in comments.