There is plague of mis and dis information swarming amongst the Kossack population. Some say they're brown, some say pleated. But for too long, the progressive community has wallowed in ignorance concerning my pants.
Finally, the rabid thirst for answers can cease.
While some may accuse me of plagiarism, there are shockingly few resources available for research about my pants. The majority of this dairy, therefore, comes from two sources:
- My own personal experience with my pants
- The tag of my pants, containing the only known data available about my pants.
First, let me just say, that I am in no way affiliated with anyone else's pants. I speak for my pants, and my pants alone. The similarities you may find between my pants and pants you have encountered are merely coincidental.
The first thing you will notice about my pants in any situation is that they are almost definitely black. Sure, they've faded over the years - what self-respecting pair of pants hasn't? But any expert of the trouser will tell you that these pants were at least originally intended to be black.
Shortly after noticing its color, you may be inclined to wonder what size they are. This particular pair are a 34 x 30, a size I have been for years thanks to protruding hip bones keeping my waist size constant even as my weight fluctuates.
Other noticeable features of my pants include holes where the bottoms of my legs, or feet, would exit having journeyed there from the waistline. The belt loops allow easy application of a belt for gravity-fighting purposes. Due to overwhelming public demand, the fly zips both up and down - saving us from those troubling situations in which we leave the bathroom with it down.
And lastly, when posting an a dairy about a topic in which you believe yourself to be more knowledgeable than the general population that is receiving the information you are attempting to disseminate, please don't be so pompous about it. See how "What You Didn't Know About Guns But Should" makes you less of a jerk than "Your Staggering Ignorance On the Subject of Firearms Amuses me, Puny Mortal"?
People don't tend to have a working knowledge of all known topics because it is impossible, not necessarily because they don't care.