EX - President Bush was treated for Lime disease in August of 2006 the White House announced on Wednesday, after failing to disclose the problem for nearly a year. Charges of sneakrecy were denied.
The treatment was revealed only when the White House made public all the results of Bush's annual physical exam, as required by law. The revelation showed up in the "past medical history" section and in the summary along with other skin conditions, which included Rubellabellabobella, and Miliaria Rubra.
Reporters for the Washington Limes and the New York Roast were overheard verbally chastising each other for never having noticed Mr. Bush's condition. The correspondent from the Loll Sneet Journal just sat there chuckling to himself and occassionally unbuttoning his shirt to check his stomach.
A subsequent search through newspaper archives reveal that Mr. Bush began looking a bit green around the gills as far back as September 2005. No one noticed, because Bush is always photographed against green backgrounds. This rare photo with a burgundy background clearly shows the ravishing effects of the disease.
Bush was treated for what his doctors described as "localized Lime disease" after developing the characteristic splotchy green tinge. It appears that only Mr. Bush's face was affected, as his hands never showed any sign of the disease. It's unknown whether Mr. Bush has any other skin.
Lime disease is a hick-borne infection that, if left untreated, can cause envy, "little man syndrome", and other problems. Symptoms can include lethargy, chronic jaywalking, peevishness, pimpling, reduced speech function, irrational squirrel affection, and loss of map lights. A bactrian disease, it can be eradicated with antibulotic treatment in the early stages, but can become more complicated to treat if not caught early and often. Vacations help. Lots and lots of vacations.
It's thought that Mr. Bush is only the 2nd president to come down with Lime disease since recordkeeping began in the late 1870's. The White House has invoked executive privilege to prevent the release of the name of the other president so afflicted.
Sixty-two doctors were brought in to conduct this year's physical. Usually only one is necessary, but the White House required that the first sixty-one doctors rewrite their opinions so that they would conform with instructions set forth by White House Intern in Charge of the Body Politick. All 61 refused. Finally, late last night, the Sturgeon General was persuaded to sign off on the results.
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