First, let me be clear: I do not object to the actual letter P. I think it is a splendid member of our alphabet. There are an astonishing number of P words I think are just dandy. I like: pooties, pumpkins, parties, pastas, petunias, particles, principles, plants, parking, pastors, pickles, particulars, pants, puppies, pets, ponchos, parts, people, pouches, pins, and a whole host of other P words. I apologize to any members of the P family that I excluded, but the truth is that I like so many of you, it is difficult to summon every single P I appreciate.
One thing I am absolutely not is perfect. I have flaws, failings and moments of futile, fluster. I say and do things I regret. If I descend into righteousness, it is not out of a feeling of superiority but of frustration.
I find it offensive and derogatory when the P word is used to describe certain female anatomy in the context the context of commentary or diaries. I don't claim to speak for all women Kossackland on this, but I can guess many might agree. I don't want to exclude the men, and make false assumptions about who they are either, they may have the exact same take. Why? It carries too much negative imagery, it is clearly intended as an insult. So, if one uses the P word as a dismissive insult to imply cowardice or weakness, you are also suggesting that women are somehow associated with these qualities. Women are by default the other, the negative, and thus it is fine to simply appropriate slang words for our body parts as if we don't matter, as if we are disposable, as if we are objects.
It also shows a stunning lack of creativity and a certain deficit in grasping the various nuances of insult and language. I am hardly the master of linguistic gymnastics myself, but when so many insults are available that one chooses quite deliberately to use one that has the potential to connote fractured and negative imagery, it speaks about the user as well. It tells me they have complete and utter contempt for women.
I can summon some expected responses if anybody happens to skim this: you are making a big deal about nothing, we have more important issues to discuss here, let it go, it rarely happens here, and on and on. Part of the process of me letting go of this is to rant a bit about it.If you think it is silly or not worthy of discussion, by all means move on. Discussing why and whether we should really be using the P word does in fact cut to the heart of the perceptions about political empowerment, treating and assuming others are equal, and acting that way. Inevitably, one could cast this as a free speech issue, and while I abhor the P word, I suppose in the public realm, it is in the same way that there are other words that make me cringe, but are often used freely. I don't mind admitting that when I am in public or one is a guest in my home, I clarify immediately why I object. As a result, I have been called too sensitive and strident when offering my objections. I see that as a way to avoid the issue and focus attention back on me as somehow objectionable and problematic. I don't really care. Silence is not golden, and while I cannot change the world or others I can certainly choose not to associate myself with those who have such sweeping disregard for others. Certain words, and call me the thought police if you wish, are just not welcome in my home. I never believe people when they say they mean nothing by it, that is merely a weak deflection, an excuse to continue on with the same behavior.
I mentioned this earlier, and it bears repeating, I have made comments here that I have made comments here that I regret. I was too busy trying to be smart and quick to consider the impact, so I am not trying to set myself up as the stand bearer of proper interaction here, or in my daily life. I slip up, I speak in anger and haste. When called on it, I apologize. In fact, the great lesson out of seeing the P word, and feeling anger is a timely reminder that I am also responsible for being mindful.
We have certainly discussed the value of civility and whether it should be a value in political discourse, and whether we are past the point of no return and need to abandon it in certain instances, because civility has yielded no real advantage or outcome.
One reason why folks might think I am bleating about a minor issue is that a majority of people here do make an attempt to consider what a woman might or might not find insulting, they are aware, they do practice consideration, they are mindful, they consider the possibility that words have a deeper impact. They might even personally disagree with a given perspective on the meaning of a word but simply chose not to use it.
As it happens, I do consider myself a feminist, and I do not make the assumption that all other women, or men, who participate here are. There are also people with widely different perspectives on issues who consider themselves feminists. I am not going to adhere to a narrow definition and because they don't subscribe to my beliefs and simply cast them out as feminists. Even if you firmly reject that label, it is possible to understand the P word as being if nothing else rude.
Thanks for listening and considering my perspective. I suspect one of the fantastic authors who regularly write in the feminisms series might be able to give this better scope than I have, and may have already done so.