Dear Mr. pResident,
It's me again, your very humble subject. I read in the newspapers today that you plan to request some additional funds Big Money for your current misadventure in I-wreck, and I thought I'd just write you a short note in appreciation of your, ah....audacity magnanimity.
As you are very aware, Sir, I am a very humble but proud admirer of your effrontery resoluteness, even in the face of overwhelming repudiation of your righteous goals.
I especially admire the fact that you have consistently proved, with determination, the US of A is blessed in limitless amount of cash that can be "appropriated" at a snap of your your fingers. You have, over the past several years demonstrated to all the nay-Sayers that our country is a very generous nation and that We The People your Unitary Self have the capacity to intervene in worthy causes when lives (and your reputation) are at stake. You, Sir, are very effective at leaving no turn unstoned.
Dear Leader of the free world,
- You are a very
<delusional>compassionate person - you've consistently proved it in all your actionsyou said so in your campaign
- Today, you paid a visit to some areas of the USA from which a very large number of "USAmericans" have either been killed, displaced, rendered homeless or just simply have had their live turned upside-down. Your visit was
mis-labeled as a celebration of the audacity"Renewal"
- You have proved that there are, at least, 50 Billion large ones sitting idly somewhere in the treasury that could be used for
war profiteeringmagnanimous, compassionate purposes. Or, at least you have indicated that if there isn't, we can magically make them be.
- The USAMericans in the areas you just visited are
poorpeople
- The Iraqis are
very goodpeople
- You are the pResident of the United States of America, which makes you, some might say, a USAmerican as well
- And you are very compassionate (I can't recall if I'd already said that)
Sir, in view of the foregoing, and in consideration of the fact that it has been 2 years already into the devastation that is causing people to camp on the streets of New Orleans because they have no home and can't afford the steep increases in rents at the remaining few inhabitable structures, I would like to, like....um .... really humbly request that you permit me to, like.....totally....be at your
NSA's mercy and make the following suggestions:
Could you, Sir, please snap some fingers and make some of those billions of dollars laying fallow in our treasury available to this part of our land? Our people DO NEED as much assistance as those other people, but I am not asking you to let those people just eat cake. Although, to think of it in another way, our Katrinated people would love to have cakes, and beds, and a roof over their heads. Oh, and their shops, and schools, and their churches re-opened - TWO YEARS AFTER THE FACT. Sir.
And, they will probably appreciate it, especially now that they are hopeless and can't get help from any other place soon enough, if you, Sir, can divert some of the resources we are heavily utilizing in Iraq over to the USAmerican land to, at least, clear away the debris. Maybe remove the carcass of their blown-away houses.
Can we get some of that money, Dear Decider, and make it available to our people, maybe as loans, subsidized to some affordable level? You know? So that the streets can be re-populated, the shops re-opened, the schools revived, the city re-awakened, hope restored? I mean, Sir, you said it yourself - if people go shopping, our economy will be jolly good.
Can we take some of the money we are sending "over there" to our people "over here" so that we can remove this eye-sore, stigma and depressing blot on our land which your cronyism created? I mean, like ....totally... create some jobs here so that we can have more money to "fight them over there". And, like, actually hold some people "accountable", sort of like, put them in jail for ineptitude, or something...oh...and completely lose the key?
I thank you, Sir, for taking the time to read my note. I know that you are a "Good Guy" and I hope to one day look into your soul and see that you will do well, not just for Iraqis, but for us Americans as well.
Now, where is my spittoon?