A Father but Not a Dad
by Bethany M. Thomas
I'm sorry you missed out when I went to school for the 1st time,
And you didn't have me tell you that you were all mine,
I'm sorry you weren't there to take me to the mall,
And you weren't there to tell me I have to stand tall,
Sorry you weren't the one I saw when I came out of my play,
Or the one I'd run to when I had a bad day ....
I'm sorry you weren't the one to teach me to ride a bike,
Or the one who took me on my first hike,
I'm sorry you weren't the one who carried me on his back,
Or the one who held me tight when strength is what I lacked,
I'm sorry you weren't the one to hold me when I cried,
Or tell me I did great when I really tried,
I'm sorry you were never there to teach me how to cook,
Or there at night to read me my favorite book,
I'm sorry me as a daughter is what you never had,
You will always be my father, but you will never be my dad.
Today we honor two soldiers who were fathers, but through no fault of their own, are no longer dads. Please join me over the fold as we say good bye.
Both soldiers we remember today were devoted military men, but even more dedicated to their families. One soldier had the good fortune to be with his two sons for a few years. The other died only hours after his first child was born. This diary is dedicated not only to them, but to their children, wives, families, communities and units, as well as to all the children and families in other parts of the world who must live with the consequences of these wars.
Spc. Joshua H. Reeves: "I just wanted him to have seen his son"
DoD Identifies Army Casualty
The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Spc. Joshua H. Reeves, 26, of Watkinsville, Ga., died Sept. 22 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 16th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kan.
The day before he died, Joshua Reeves had received the best news imaginable – his wife of two years, Leslie, had given birth to a healthy baby boy and both his wife and son were doing well. (A picture of the young couple can be seen here.)
From USA TODAY, where you can see a photograph of mother and baby:
Joshua Jackson Reeves, four days old, slept undisturbed Monday afternoon in his mother's arms, blissfully unaware of war, or a city called Baghdad, or his mother's shattered heart.
Leslie Reeves, gently traced her baby's chin, a miniature version of another's chin, and smiled through wet eyes.
On Friday, Mrs. Reeves delivered her seven-pound, 14-ounce boy into this world without complications. Soon afterward she phoned Iraq to deliver the happy news. There, Spc. Joshua Reeves, her soldier-husband of two years, was stationed with troops from Fort Riley, Kan.
He was due to come home in November for two weeks of vacation from war.
One day's joy turned to sorrow on Saturday as a bomb detonated as Joshua Reeves' Humvee drove down a Baghdad street. Leslie Reeves was still in the hospital with her new baby when she learned she was a widow.
The 26-year-old, who grew up in the small town of Watkinsville, Georgia, about an hour outside of Atlanta, had earned a reputation as the kind of person who would never let anyone down and always got the job done. In fact, say friends, when things turned tough, Reeves believed in getting tougher. As an example, one of them told the Athens Banner-Herald about the time Reeves’ ride to school dropped him off and then accidentally ran over his foot, breaking it badly.
He was told to limit his walking, but Reeves was a percussionist with the Oconee County High School’s Marching Warrior Band. Reeves was afraid the halftime shows would suffer without the steady, guiding beat of his bass drum. So with his broken foot in a cast, he marched with his band-mates at every game.
Reeves was equally devoted to Army life and to his mission in Iraq. Only recently, he had re-enlisted for six more years in the service.
"He really enjoyed what he was doing and believed in their mission over there," Sherry LaBoon, a friend and spokeswoman for the Reeves family told the Athens Banner-Herald.
Reeves enlisted in the Army in 2005, after spending a few years working for an area lawn care firm. His goal was to become a helicopter pilot, but he was happy being assigned to the infantry, too.
"When it hit on him to join the military, he really found his niche," LaBoon said. "He said he found where he belonged."
Source
As his father, James, told WKRN (Nashville), they were not surprised when Joshua, the oldest of their four children, announced he was joining the Army:
"He wanted to fly helicopters, that was his dream," said James. "He went to an aviation school after high school but he decided that joining the Army would get him to that point quicker."
His family believed Reeves would achieve his goal, because that was the kind of person he was.
"He was always determined, in everything," James added.
"He was such a good-hearted person. Everybody loved him," Jean [his mother] said.
Just last week, Jean spoke to her son on the phone. He admitted that the war was challenging, and was openly concerned about IEDs that have claimed so many lives. Sometimes, he told his mother, it was hard to sleep, too.
"But even so, he was real committed. He had just re-enlisted for six years. He supported his country. He supported the Army. He supported his President. He cared about the Iraqi people," she added.
In Hendersonville, Tennessee, for the birth of their grandson, the Reeves spoke to the USA Today reporter, and shared one of the last photographs they had received from their son, now saved on a laptop computer.
"Joshua sat cross-legged on the floor of an Iraqi house, a guest for a Ramadan meal. He looked at the camera with a quizzical smile as he held something to eat in his fingers. The specialist appeared to be at ease, among trusted companions.
"Isn't that just absolutely the greatest shot?" James said, chin on his neck, tears flowing unchecked, shoulders bobbing from the sobs.
"We got this last Wednesday."
Now the photo becomes his son's parting image.
"It hurts so terribly. You just can't know how bad it hurts," said James, an eighth-grade teacher.
His young wife, Leslie, who family members described as "doing as well as can be expected," cherishes the one and only time she and little Joshua were able to make contact with his father, during a phone call after the baby’s birth.
Again, from USA TODAY:
"He got to hear him cry over the phone and said 'Hi' to him," the new mother recalled.
A short time after the birth, the specialist, 26, also received photos of his son via the Internet.
"I just wanted him to have seen his son," the mother said.
"That was comforting to me."
Rest in peace, Joshua. Your service and sacrifices will never be forgotten.
Spc. David Watson: "I am going to miss him dearly, because he is a part of me"
DoD Identifies Army Casualty
The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Spc. David L. Watson, 29, of Newport, Ark., died Sept. 22 in Baqubah, Iraq, of injuries suffered from a non-combat related accident. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 23rd Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade, 2nd Infantry Division (Stryker Brigade Combat Team), Fort Lewis, Wash.
The circumstances surrounding the incident are under investigation.
David Watson was an accomplished soldier with a promising future. But his wife, Lisa, and their two sons – Dayton, age 4 and Caelan, age 8 – were what he lived for.
After graduating from high school in 1997, David Watson stunned his family and friends by announcing he was joining the National Guard. After graduating from college with a bachelor’s degree, David began active service in 2005, and became a Combat Medic - Health Care Specialist in 2006. In April, 2007, his brigade deployed to Iraq.
David was awarded the National Defense Service Medal and Army Service Ribbon. But in spite of his military achievements, he is remembered by all who knew him as a caring, devoted family man. In addition to his wife and two young sons, David leaves behind his mother, Linda, and sister, Christal Hill.
From KTHV (Little Rock): KTHV
"He’s a very special person and I don’t think that there is a life or a person that he has encountered that he hasn’t touched their life," says Watson’s sister, Christal Hill.
Although Hill says her brother was proud of his military career, he was even prouder of his two young boys and his wife, Lisa.
"When you saw David you saw Lisa. I mean they were just connected," explains Hill.
Although his mother admits she was concerned about her son joining the military, she never imagined his career would end the way it did.
"I have to say that I am going to miss him dearly because he was a part of me, but I know he was doing what he wanted to do.
She admits she’s not yet come to terms with her son’s death. She listens to her answering machine several times a day just to hear his voice.
"One plays, ‘Hey mom this is David. I am getting ready; we’re ready to take off. Once we get to the airport, I will try and call you back. So I’ll just talk to you later. Love you. Bye.’
"I hope and pray no one erases it. But it’s comforting to be able to go in and listen to it."
You can see photographs of David, his wife and their children here.
Rest in peace, David. Your service and your sacrifice will not be forgotten.
The Iraq Coalition Casualty Count reports that total number of US casualties confirmed by the Department of Defense is now 3800, with 1 additional death pending notification of relatives, for a total of 3801. The DoD news releases can be found here. Other sites have stories, video, pictures and remembrances, including: Honor the Fallen and Spread the Word: Iraq-Nam, which is maintained by Kossack spread the word IRAQ NAM.
All these service people had friends and loved ones. Please visit the Iraq Veterans Memorial for a moving look at how a few of their survivors remember them. It will break your heart.
If you'd like to help our soldiers, consider sponsoring a soldier at TroopCarePackage.comor anysoldier.com. Operation Helmet and Fisher Houseare also wonderful organizations that offer additional opportunity to help out American soldiers.
Finally, if you would like to assist the animal companions of our deployed military, information is available here. Animal companions can provide such solace and comfort.
About the IGTNT series:
IGTNT stands for "I Got the News Today." The phrase most likely refers to the Beatles’ song, and it is meant to symbolize that terrible knock on the door that any number of families got today, bringing with it the news that a loved one has died. IGTNT is a diary series intended to honor, respect and remind.
Click here to see the series, which was begun by i dunno, and is maintained by Sandy on Signal, monkeybiz, silvercedes, MsWings, noweasels, blue jersey mom, chacounne, twilight falling, Wee Mama, greenies, labwitchy, roses, joyful, sistwo and me, moneysmith.
If you would like to help out with IGTNT -- even once a month -- please get in touch with silvercedes, Sandy on Signal, noweasels or monkeybiz.
Please bear in mind that these diaries are read by friends and family of the service members chronicled here. May all of our remembrances be full of compassion rather than politics.
Finally, there has been a slight change in the IGTNT reporting: Fallen soldiers, sailors, Marines, airmen and National Guard whose names have been released by the Department of Defense will be diaried two days after the official announcement on the DoD website. This change allows the IGTNT team to cover each fallen service member more fully, and still in a timely manner.