HEY! Arwen the Terrible taking over here. Yes, I am much more literate than Rex the Dog. What did you expect? I'm a cat. He's a dog. While Rex sits at Bob Johnson's feet while Bob reads, I sit on Mom's book. And I've sat atop the computer desk watching Mom type so my keyboarding skills are excellent.
But I have some bitching to do here. See, Mom's been cleaning. And moving stuff around. Which means there's going to be a party. Here. At my house.
So I went online while she was at work today, and what did I discover. Well shit, it's enough to make me want to shred all her silk panties.
Bad enough that she's invited a whole bunch of strangers to my house.
She's done it under the auspices of a Party with the Interloper. As if any self-respecting being would want to see a kitten. Yeah, yeah, you think she's cute, beating the crap out of her toy beaver. But let me tell you, Zasu is nothing but a royal pain in the butt — literally. She bites. Hard. She keeps attacking my tail whenever I move it. Especially while I'm trying to eat my Kittee Chickee.
Even worse, Zasu thinks she has the right to sleep on my bed. And she doesn't run when I hiss at her anymore.
So, if you know what's good for you, you won't come to Casa de Frankenoid on Saturday afternoon. Yes, Mom cooks awesome ribs, but still — you'll be in the same house as the Kitten from Hell. In fact, stay far away from the Baker Neighborhood, near Alameda and Broadway in Denver.
And whatever you do, do not RSVP to Mom at frankenoid at conen dot net.