As a Connecticut resident, by law, I am not entitled to vote in the Iowa primary tomorrow. Indeed, by law, I am not entitled to cross the street in front of my flat without first going to the corner and waiting for a crossing signal. I am not allowed to purchase absinthe from Eastern European suppliers nor certainly to share it with underage canvassers. By no means am I permitted, under law, to do any of these things, three of which I already have and one I will be doing in very short order.
I should say, that, in fact, we're dealing in a bit of a legal gray area. In truth, I was briefly in residence as a visiting lecturer at one of Iowa's fine institutes of higher learning. This was some years ago however and though I have documents seeming to establish my residence there (or here, as I should say), they are rather specious. Nonetheless, I have trekked long in my brother's Winnebago, taking in the sights and smells of the Midwest, the plains and the mountain states during my respite from the rigors of teaching and writing. I have just finished a draft of my upcoming book (Kruschev's Muse: Echoes of Italian Cinema in Communist Party Propaganda, Yale University Press) and thought to myself, "With classes out and little chance of meaningful editorial feedback for a while, seeing the countryside at $3 per gallon would be a nice change of pace."
And indeed it has been, lurking the towns and byways of the heartland, intermingling with the corn fed Masters of the Universe and their daughters out here were the nights are cold and clear. Listening to the standard jokes about farmer's daughters and their fathers gives one an unrealistic notion of what it's like. In fact, the farmers are neither as militant nor as given to fanciful schemes as the folklore would lead you to believe, though for the most part this works to the barfly's advantage.
Anyway, as I said, out here I got to thinking: With so many people so keen on this primary process (myself included, I confess), why not vote in it while I'm out here? I had already voted here before, so I just needed to play some games to "prove" current residence, which was easy enough. I had a couple bank statements sent to an old friend's place (also an Obama fan, as it happens) and managed to parlay that into an Iowa driver's license and a hasty voting registration.
Now of course, back in High School, so many years ago, I was fortunate enough to live in a certain little town in New Hampshire and to spend the summer between high school and undergraduate in another slightly larger one and, truth be told, I have some friends there too. Now I don't know if I can induce one of my banks to send yet another statement out there nor whether the Bureau of Motor Vehicles will be as accommodating there as they have been here, but I do have a bit of time left to play with and, of course, the attempt is already underway. If all goes according to plan, I will be able to vote for Obama three times this cycle. Huzzah!
I'll have to see though. To be perfectly frank, I've become rather fond of the Midwest. While topographically plain, its college towns make up for it in spades. Anyone who's traveled between the Midwest and the New England states will have surely noticed the rather marked difference in the native folk. While comparatively rustic in their manner of speech, the ladies are proportionally much more attractive. I suspect this has something to do with settlement patterns. Much of the Eastern United States were settled primarily by religious fanatics from England, while the middle regions were settled more heavily by enterprising German, Polish, and other Eastern continental immigrants. Well, that's my theory, though I claim no expertise in the matter.
Anyway, I hope all of the Obama supporters out there will vote early and often. (And take the poll!)