Are you suffering from Presidential Primary Fatigue Syndrome?
Symptoms include:
- obsessive thinking about two people you will never meet
- dreams about two people you will never meet
- increased anxiety and excitement on primary election days
- delegate and superdelegate have become part of your everyday vocabulary
- a preoccupation with numbers related delgates and superdelegates
Read on if you think you may suffer from PPFS....
Other symptoms include:
- checking Daily Kos more than you used to
- adding Open Left to your increasingly obsessive blog reading
- your well being is now determined by whether your favorite of the two people you will never meet gets better press today
- on-going anxiety that your favorite of the two people you will never meet has done something to create bad press
- your well being is now determined by whether other people like your favorite of the two people you will never meet
Perhaps the most severe and debilitating symptom is:
- irrational thoughts that your favorite of the two people you will never meet will a. change the world in ways you never imagined b. be the best president EVER c. never disappoint you d. be the bestest democratic in the history of the party and may even walk on water
Related symptoms include:
-intense annoyance that everybody in the whole entire world doesn't agree with your belief of the above
-losing respect and love for websites and writers that don't agree 100% with your beliefs from above
Friend, if you identify at least 5 of the above as pertaining to you, I am afraid you now suffer from PPFS. BUT, no need to fret, there is a solution.
YOU MUST, drastic as it may seem, STOP READING BLOGS FOR 24 HOURS. Rest assured nothing will happen that will change your mind or opinion in that time. Nothing will happen that will impact your life in any direct way. And, most importantly, nothing that has happened (or will happen) will benefit or suffer from you not knowing about it sooner. And, afterall, we are only talking 1 day. For more severe cases, this time may be extended.
During this blogfast, make love to your partner or have sex with whoever is currently auditioning for the partner role (or whoever is simply the person you are now having sex with!). If you don't currently have this type of person around, play sports or go to the gym. This part of treatment is to take care of the rest of your body and give your brain a break.
Play with your kids or grandkids or play with someone else kids or grandkids. This is for perspective. Your life is big and fufilling, that will not change no matter who becomes the next president. Also, kids don't care who the next president will be so you won't be tempted to talk about it.
Go to the movies, watch bad TV or talk to strangers at the coffee shop. Again, perspective. Most people don't know or care about the last hour of the campaign, and believe it or not, you have lots in common with them. Connect, join humanity.
If symptoms persist after 1 day, repeat as many as necessary