TT - Sources inside the New York Times have confided knowledge of a scandal involving Democratic presidential front-runner Barack Obama, a woman named Trixie Sluppick, and an illegal transaction on the streets of Obama's hometown of Chicago. The Barack Obama campaign is reportedly in damage control mode, scrambling desperately to salvage the Illinois Senator's once-daunting delegate lead.
The alleged incident took place in 1993, on a bustling Chicago street corner. It began when Ms. Sluppick, then 81, dropped her handbag while attempting to cross a busy intersection.
"Lipstick and ketchup packets went flying everywhere," said the unnamed source, "and then the light turned green. She was a sitting duck."
The source goes on to report that Barack Obama darted into traffic on foot, placing his body between Ms. Sluppick and oncoming traffic, retrieving the contents of her purse, and escorting the elderly woman to safety on a nearby curbside -- all in naked violation of several city jaywalking statutes.
"There is no question in my mind what I saw. No ambiguity at all," said the source. "It was Barack Obama, and he was not in the crosswalk. It's been fifteen years now, and the whole event is still etched in my memory like...like an etching of some kind."
The Obama campaign is expected to issue a categorical denial in a press conference tomorrow following the story's publication. Obama himself made an oblique reference to the scandal as he spoke to a church congregation in Dallas, TX this morning.
"We are the ones we have been waiting for. We have been waiting for us to come and help us gather our stuff, and help us out of the chaotic intersection of politics as usual, but not in such a way that violates any law or endangers others or anything like that. Yes we can. I mean, you know, within the law, of course."
Sluppick, currently 96 and living in Coral Gables, FL, denies that the incident ever happened. "No, I don't recall any such thing," she allegedly told the New York Times. "Do you know my son Benjamin? If you see him please tell him to clean his room."