Just when did the flag pin become part of the required uniform for the President?
(Warning: Image heavy diary)
I have found myself wondering over the last few days about just when all this flag pin wearing began. Apparently, people have been wearing these pins since the Revolutionary War or something, but no matter how hard I look, i can't seem to find them in my history textbooks.
So I decided to do a bit of sleuthing myself, and see exactly what year the flag pin embedded itself in the lapel of the Commander-in-Chief of the good ol' U.S. of A.
Put on your American flag pants and cowboy hats and follow along, won't you?
I figured I'd begin my search with the President on whose lapel I most expected to find a flag pin. This guy really loved America. I mean, he wouldn't be caught dead damaging his country in any way. So I peered into the Oval office to see him at work and lo and behold
NO FLAG PIN!
Wow, he must've just forgotten it that morning. Besides, it's more of an action shot, not really an official portrait. Like, maybe he was about to go do something active where the pin might get in the way. Like scale a building wall and break in to a hotel suite or something.
Well surely his mistake can be overlooked. I mean, by 1974, he was a national hero because he resigned and saved DEMOCRACY! He probably went home the night he resigned and put on a giant American flag pair of peejays and thought about how patriotic he was.
I just knew if I peeked in on Gerald Ford he wouldn't let me down. I mean how could you follow Dick with poor fashion choices and dubious patriotism? You couldn't.
This time I decide to sneak up on Gerald while he was posing for his official portrait. That would be the ideal time to have all your patriotic ducks lined up in a row, right? So I peered through the keyhole and...
WTF???? NO PIN????
Now I was getting worried. But I knew that Ford was only in office for a few years. Then I heard he fell down or something. His flag pin probably popped off when he tripped on the way to taking that portrait.
Next was Jimmy Carter. Everyone's favorite ex-President. Gee whiz, you think he could've built some houses while he was in office?
I knew Jimmy would be sans pin. First of all he's a Democrat. 'nuff said. Second, he won't ride in limos. Retard. Third, he's probably going to endorse that no-pin wearing Obama guys, so he's totally unreliable on the patriotism question.
Ah, just as i expected. Well let's move on to a real AMERICAN hero. A man who needs no introduction. A man who saved democracy by bombing Libya, invading Grenada, and running secret wars out of his basement. A man who was a movie star. A man who tore down the Berlin wall by himself, and singlehandedly took down those commie bastard Soviet punks. A man who...
...effing forgot his FLAG PIN! Well he had some memory problems at times, and we all sympathize with that. Plus, he was just so great. I mean, can we put him on the dime already? His face was just made for money. American money.
Anyhow, I was kind of disappointed by that one, but I figured someone from that nameless MUSLIM Senator's staff photoshopped it out. That is a cyber-crime which should be punishible by death -- cruel and unusual death!
Reagan's vice-pres is another great man -- a man whose wife and offspring bring joy to all who love this country. And he's pretty mirthful and ever-loving himself. I mean, "No New Taxes!" was like the greatest political moment of my life. So was "Read my lips!" oh wait...that was the same moment. Anyway...I was sure George had removed the silver foot from his mouth long enough to pose for a few XTRA-patriotic pics at the whitest of white houses. So I put on my moccasins, tiptoed up, and peeked in...
Yikes! One guy in that pic has a whole lot of lapel pins! He must've taken George's when he wasn't looking. I'll chalk that up to thievery and move on.
The next President is kind of patriotic, right? He eats at McDonald's and shops at Wal-Mart, so he's got to be a good, America-loving, flag-pin wearing, Arkansan hero. I told myself all this as I braced for the worst. I was losing losing faith here! Are all our President's Terrorist Traitors????
YES THEY ARE!!!!
I wiped away a tear, but then remembered there was one man who could save the day. He's the only President who is benevolent enough to be the dictator we all crave. I love him so much And I have pictures of him everywhere. And in every one of them he's wearing...
...A FLAG PIN!!!!
YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
But even he can slip up sometimes.
Nobody's perfect.