Time was when John Birch Society-type conservatives wanted to demonize the political left, they zeroed in on Berkeley, California—but that wild college town failed to capture their interest after a while. After that, they started leaning on New York City as the bastion of modern liberal Babylon. Then the World Trade Center attacks happened. New York is still just as liberal, but attacking it now is un-American.
Poor conservatives. If only they'd learned earlier that they actually have a vested interest in stopping terrorism. I mean, if terrorists were to attack San Francisco, too, they'd run out of scapegoats.
Or would they? There's still a few more Americans to attack. How about:
Boston - Beantown isn't even America's second city—it's its third, at best. (I live here, so I've got an idea.) With the combination of expensive real estate and liberal social values causing a ring around even the city's bluer collars, the largest city in a state that never votes Republican anymore makes an awfully good target!
Vermont - No big cities in Vermont, but the whole state is a ripe target. Home of America's first civil union laws, enthusiastic environmentalism and a prominent hippie ice cream company that serves its prominent hippie population, conservatives can afford to permanently write off these three electoral votes.
Seattle - Though grunge has died down some, Seattle is still kind of leftier-than-thou. Alternative lifestyles are tolerated and vegans roam the streets, free and unmolested.
Los Angeles - One of America's biggest media producers, if not the biggest, Los Angeles is responsible for much of our TV and movies. Hollywood itself is already scapegoated regularly, but it wouldn't take much to expand the hate toward Culver City and Burbank and wherever else the movie lots are. Plenty of Democrats out here—though the risk of alienating the many Hispanics who call Los Angeles home might be too much. Still, fear of the traffic keeps a lot of people away, so Los Angeles could still be American conservatives' number one target of hate.
Minneapolis - This could be tricky, since the Republican Convention is already being held here this year. Minneapolis is the more liberal of the Twin Cities, and could be the most liberal spot in the Midwest. Attacking Minneapolis could run the risk of losing all ten of Minnesota's electoral votes in the future, and moreover, if Al Franken loses his Senate bid, Norm Coleman might feel uncomfortable about being left out to dry. If things don't go well at the convention, though, it might be tempting to let loose on the place where everything went wrong.
New Orleans - This has already been used by John McCain's pal Reverend John Hagee, who blamed a gay pride parade for causing hurricanes Katrina and Rita to come crashing down on the city. Could New Orleans still be used as a rallying point to focus conservative hatred toward Americans who aren't like they are?
Austin, Texas - Conservatives like to think they own Texas. They don't, but their beloved Dubya calls the state home, so there's a tendency to buy that myth. The best proof that Texas is not 100% conservative is the state capital of Austin, which prides itself on keeping itself weird. Maybe attacking Austin might convince them they're going to finish the purge of Texas liberals? (Shh! We know it would take more than getting rid of Austin to accomplish that, but don't tell them!)
Portland, Oregon - Portland, Oregon is like Vermont: lefties, vegans, microbrews, and pine trees. It's on the West Coast, which is always a popular target for culture war conservatives, though its reputation is as a somewhat quieter place than many other liberal Babylons. Worse, Oregon is a swing state, so habitually energizing Portland liberals might keep Oregon out of reach. Still, Portland might be good to keep in mind; you never know when you'll need to paint a bunch of polite white liberals as a latter-day Gomorrah.
Stars Hollow, Connecticut - Small and obscure, Stars Hollow is unusually ethnically diverse. The residents are well-read and clever, and are awfully fond of coffee, though lattes haven't quite caught on here yet. Still, it's in Connecticut, which is ever more out of the conservatives' reach, so why not?
Which of the above-mentioned Americans most deserve to be the right wing's new scapegoats? You decide!