IOWA CITY, IA - In spite of general revulsion at the McCain campaign's latest broadside against Barack Obama, in which it called Obama disingenuous and a flip-flopper for his short empathetic missive in the guest book of an Isreali holocaust museum, insiders say this actually represents a new tactical imperative by the Republican National Committee.
"We have a story to tell about some of the unconscionable stances Democrat candidates take that might seem kind of good but really aren't," an RNC staffer said on condition of anonymity. "They're undermining our way of life, millimeter by millimeter, and the voters need to know this."
A new ad breaking in support of businessman Chip Swanne, vying for a congressional seat in southeast Wisconsin, shows the Democratic incumbent Rob Tavernas in obviously hand-held cam footage from the recent funeral of his beloved aunt, Dedra Tavernas. Pulling in on a mourning Tavernas's face to show him weeping openly, the ad then puts up a simple block of copy: "Rob Tavernas. Wrong About the Surge. Plus, he's a Pussy."
In the race for the open senate in Nebraska, a new mailer by Republican candidate Earl Hefweissen suggests that his opponent Vince Jensen and his family's helping to pay for the hospice care for a neighbor stricken with AIDS "shows Jensen's unqualified support for the Gay Agenda."
Things have gotten equally muddy in Michigan, where UP Democrat Phil Sinkiewicz, challenging for the congressional seat there, has come under fire for his contributions to the Katrina Relief fund. Incumbent Marty Whiteguy, a fundamentalist Christian Republican, has claimed that in helping alleviate the poverty and homelessness in New Orleans in the wake of the 2006 hurricane, Sinkiewicz is "attempting to subvert God's Will."
Things have gotten dadaistically contentious in the unexpected battleground state of New Mexico, where Dem congressional candidate Rob Calderón has found his patriotism and support of the troops called into question. While Calderón was working at a VA Ward as an unpaid volunteer in 2005, he struck up a friendship with a veteran who had lost a foot in Iraq, and has a picture of the two together on his campaign website to illustrate his support of the recent G.I. Bill. The photo of the vet with his new prosthetic, Republican opponent Christine Asymptote contends, "undermines the war effort."
UPDATE: This is a fake news item. Or IS it?
Bum-bum-buuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm.