The McCain campaign has a new program: Just spread favorable McCain comments around the web, and you earn points leading to exciting prizes. Prizes such as a ride on the Dire Straits Express! It doesn't get any better than that. There's just one problem. The suggested favorable comments, or "talking points" to use the term of art, are extremely lame. One sample: John McCain has a comprehensive economic program. Yawn. The McCain camp needs much more exciting material to ignite the kind of grass roots fire they're aiming for. If the following items don't get me a ride with the McCain campaign, I'll be truly shocked:
The oily bird gets the worm. Oily to bed, oily to rise, makes a nation maybe unhealthy but wealthy if not wise. Drill everywhere, drill now, drill deep. Get your drills with John McCain.
Some high achievers put plaques on their wall. John McCain has plaque clogging his brain! So fight brain drain and vote McCain.
That John McCain is a real pistol. He barbecues, addresses biker rallies, offers Cindy up in topless beauty contests, banters with babes like Paris Hilton, spends more on a pair of shoes than you make in a week. A real man, a he man, a man's man, a mano a mano kind of man, a true man-iac.
Some politicians talk out of both sides of their mouth. When McCain speaks, you know he's only using one side -- the other one doesn't work so well.
Sure he confuses Sunni with Shia. Yes he talks about a central European country that hasn't existed for fifteen years. Maybe he does mix up international borders and which heads of state represent what country. But can he ever cuss! Whoa, doggy. Just ask his Senate colleagues. You want a little salty language with your next president? Vote McCain.
John McCain, what a jokester. Have you heard his latest? "How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb? None. After we bomb Iran, they won't have any electricity!"
Why is John McCain a true patriot? Because what's good for Exxon and Lockheed, Chevron and General Dynamics, is good for America.
Just loved the willful ignorance, imbecile arrogance, murderous ineptitude, and relentless braggadocio of the Bush administration? Get four more years. Vote for John Sidney McCain, III.
John McCain – he's still breathing! And he's white.