John McCain seems to really have caught Olympic fever. On Saturday in a venue friendly to particular style, he knew he had one chance to make his mark on Olympic history and set his sights on a couple of new world records of his own. Inspired by the likes of Michael Phelps and Usiah Bolt, John McCain gave it his all as he too attempted to reach the heights of Olympic glory.
On Saturday night at the Saddleback Forum, he set new world records in the areas of speed, height and distance, setting new standards by which future politicians will be judged. John McCain, apparently due to taking on a new training staff and relying heavily on tips from his former rivals had recently taken on a new training regimen designed to have him in top shape to coincide with the appearance August 16 at the Saddleback Forum.
Some may argue that it was the new high tech Bush-lite skin suit that he was wearing that enhanced the McCain performance on Saturday night. Others no doubt will attribute the stellar feats to the venue itself.
Regardless of how you slice and dice it McCain has accomplished what no other athlete politician in history has accomplished.
New, astounding, and indeed, world record speeds in answering questions!
A new record for distance in delivering heart-tugging antecdotes!!!
and to top it all off, A new world record for height in meaningless hyperbole!
Talk about Olympic excitement!!!
What more could you ask for? We live for this stuff!!!
Every four years, we get the chance to see these athletes politicians perform and boy, did John McCain deliver.
But wait, ...Here in the light of "the morning after" while the paint is still new on those record books, new questions are being raised about whether these records will stand.
Is it possible that John McCain was using performance enhancers? Did he have assistance in acheiving his speed record? Are the judges even going to consider that the presumptive new record holder my have cheated? Will he be disqualified?
As the dust is still settling on the Saddleback event, new evidence dutifully diaried here by fellow Kossacks here
and here
shows that the antecdote may have not belonged to the candidate at all. So, even though he may have set a new world record for both time and distance in responding to a question: He did take us back to 1969, almost forty years ago!...and he did take us back to VietNam...(oh how our collective hearts ache when we hear those words) and to the POW experience (my God, I think I'm going to cry!)...it turns out that McCain's Olympic class effort my be disqualified because it didn't really happen, or if it did, not to John McCain...or he made have just made it up.
In the sprint record set last night, John McCain BOLTed out of the starting blocks, before the question was really even asked, Amazing Speed! Wow! Even Rick Warren was rendered speechless with the quickness of the response!!! "Yes, Yes, and Lets help poor teachers find another job"
Wow! Amazing Speed! Precision! Crisp tight answers!!!
However, as it turns out, there may have been a little performance enhancing help in the speed record too. As diaried here
In the pole-vault style event John McCain attempted new heights in meaningless hyperbole again excelled, in response to the question about taxes and defining "rich" first he threw us all off with a good dose of pandering, had us all feeling all warm and fuzzy about family values and such...and then BLAM! at the last minute finally threw out the number...and not just any number!!! Five Million!!! Five Million!!??
Talk about your meaningless hyperbole!!! John, You are THE MAN!!!! High five!!! WOO HOO!!!
Wow! Were you as pumped as I was to see this amazing display of human speed, strength and agility? Now, it seems like it may all have been false hopes that someone could pull off these world records without performance enhancers...
So, you might ask, what would make someone as upright and principalled as John McCain. The John McCain who at one time vowed to run a respectful campaign, the Maverick, who says he's going to clean up Dodge Washington...how could that John McCain stoop so low as to employ performance enhancers? Well, here's my Monday Sunday morning analysis: The moderate/bi-partisan, appeal to the independents identity didn't seem to be gaining any traction for McCain in the polls. So he cleverly donned a Bush-lite skin suit for the event on Saturday night. He has obviously delved deep into the Bush play book and has signaled his willingness to say or do whatever it takes to appeal to the Bush base of evangelicals.