From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Breakfast...served up by Jack Cafferty on a silver platter (See also czardingus's diary. And then remind me again why Obama's surrogates rarely speak this plainly.)
Start with a juicy melon wedge:
It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current president. When asked what his Christian faith means to him, his answer was a one-liner. "It means I'm saved and forgiven." Great scholars have wrestled with the meaning of faith for centuries.
Some toast with jam (blueberry's my favorite):
Asked about his greatest moral failure, he cited his first marriage, which ended in divorce. While saying it was his greatest moral failing, he offered nothing in the way of explanation. Why not?
Eggs Benedict:
He was asked to define rich. After trying to dodge the question -- his wife is worth a reported $100 million -- he finally said he thought an income of $5 million was rich. One after another, McCain's answers were shallow, simplistic, and trite. He showed the same intellectual curiosity that George Bush has---virtually none.
Home fries:
He no longer allows reporters unfettered access to him aboard the "Straight Talk Express" for a reason. He simply makes too many mistakes. Unless he's reciting talking points or reading from notes or a TelePrompTer, John McCain is lost.
And a fresh cup of coffee:
Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been. I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him.
Urp! When's lunch?
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Note: Remember when the pundits predicted that Obama's campaign was sunk if he didn’t win the West Virginia primary? They were so right! (I forget, has he retired his campaign debt since he dropped out?)
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By the Numbers:
Days `til Daylight Saving Time ends: 74
Days `til Talk Like A Pirate Day: 30
July, 2007 to July, 2008 increase in housing foreclosure filings: 55%
Ratio of homes that got a foreclosure notice last month: 1:464
(Source: RealtyTrac)
Miles of paving that have been suspended in Maine because asphalt's become too damn expensive: 85.3
Current price of a ton of liquid asphalt: $765 (vs. $307 in January)
(Source: Maine Dept. of Transportation via the Portland Press Herald)
Number of major factual errors Bill Kristol has made since he started writing columns for the New York Times: 4
U.S. Olympic gold medal count: 26
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 163 (including 4 gogs and 1 disturbing flag desecration that Republicans should protest---bein' the flag-defending party and all---but for some reason they're strangely silent). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: When hunting dogs get stoned
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CHEERS to spending some quality time in the bathtub with Kos. No no no wait, you don’t understand! I do most of my reading in the bathtub, and, see, his new book comes out today and... Oh, you're a dirty-minded bunch. Anyway, it's getting thumbs-upses across the board, and here's one more---from Americablog's John Aravosis:
Anyone who reads and devours the progressive blogs will love "Taking on the System." Markos is a great storyteller---and he weaves lessons about winning---and organizing and new technologies---into those stories. You'll recognize a lot of the names and many of the anecdotes. And, you'll realize how far we've progressed since the dark days of 2002 before there really was a progressive blogosphere. Throughout the book, he honors some of the people who have become our netroots heroes by taking on the system---and winning.
You'll be inspired. And, think of all the people who loathe the liberal blogs and Markos (e.g. Bill O'Reilly) who are going to be seething as this books moves up the charts.
If you've got an independent bookseller located near you, toss some coin their way. Amazon will survive.
CHEERS to achieving the magic number. Say it with me: "Sixty. Siiiiiixty. SIXTY!!!" (Nice diaphragm control.) That's the number of Senate seats we need for a filibuster-proof majority, and according to Todd at MyDD, the AP says it's actually realistic. Pardon my skepticism, but I'm not gonna be poppin' a champagne cork anytime soon. Mainly because I still have three cases of Bacardi to get through first.
CHEERS to elder Democratic statesmen. It's my understanding that if I don't say "Happy birthday" to former Maine senator George Mitchell, who turns 75 today, they'll kick me out of the state. Coincidentally, we got a little note from him yesterday on behalf of the Obama campaign:
I was born and raised in Maine and I served the people of Maine in the Senate for nearly 15 years, so I know how the last eight years of failed Bush-McCain policies have affected our working families.
My father was a janitor at a local college and my mother worked in a textile mill after she immigrated to the U.S. at the age of 18. They worked hard to build a life for themselves, and for me. It was people like them---our parents and grandparents---who built this state and this country to give us all the opportunities we now enjoy.
Barack also comes from a humble background, and that's why he knows how important it is to create opportunities for working Americans. Next Thursday, August 28th, he will make history with his acceptance speech in Denver.
Right after he makes history by becoming the first candidate in 36 years to beat George McGovern in the kielbasa-eating contest. Not so cocky now, are ya, old man?
JEERS to 1981. That was the last time wholesale inflation grew as fast as it's growing now. The July-to-July period saw a growth rate of 9.8 percent, while Americans' paychecks grew by a handful of magic beans. When confronted with the numbers, the vacationing President Bush stuck his head out of a brush pile long enough to say: "I thought inflating stuff was supposed to save on gas. Make up your goddam mind." Message: he cares.
CHEERS to do-gooders of yore. As part of his `War on Poverty,' President Lyndon Johnson signed the Economic Opportunity Act 44 years ago today. It included funds for vocational training, loans to farmers and businessmen, establishment of a domestic version of the Peace Corps, and community action programs. Today Republicans still refer to it as the "Ick! Ick!" Act.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda... GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. The latest issue of The Advocate asks: Should You Believe in Obama?
Yes.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda... GONG!!!
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CHEERS to the letter "R". Nedra Pickler of the Associated Press submitted a story yesterday in which she wrote that Senator Joe Lieberman was "...the Democratic vice presidential prick in 2000." Thus providing a textbook example of the first rule of Journalism 101: get your facts right. Grade: A+ (Oh, and drop me a line, Nedra, so I'll know where to send the chocolate roses...)
CHEERS to #23. Happy birthday to Benjamin Harrison, born on August 20, 1833 in North Bend, Ohio. As president from 1889 to 1893, he was the filling in the Grover Cleveland sandwich. And what a party animal! From Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents by Cormac O'Brien:
[I]n person the staunchly Presbyterian president was a virtual corpse. Chilly, frigid, frosty---words like these were routinely used to describe the unpleasant experience of meeting privately with the man. ... Senator Thomas Platt was the one who coined the moniker "White House Iceberg." As Platt explained, "Inside the Executive Mansion, in his reception of those who solicited official appointments, [Harrison] was as glacial as a Siberian stripped of his furs. During and after an interview, if one could secure it, one felt even in torrid weather like pulling on his winter flannels, galoshes, overcoat, mittens and earflaps." Even Harrison's handshake was a flop, likened to "a wilted petunia."
Like Cheney. Minus the charm.
CHEERS to the new host on the block. The moment Rachel Maddow appeared on MSNBC, we all noticed she had that twinkle of mischief in her eye. Then when she started swatting down Pat Buchanan like a pesky mosquito, we knew we had a tough, razor-sharp and quick-on-her-feet progressive analyst on our hands. And when she flawlessly substitute-hosted while Keith Olbermann was off soaking in hot tubs and getting seaweed beauty wraps, the writing was on the wall: she's a rare broadcast natural for whom a TV venue was just a matter of time. So, while we should be yawning over the news, we're instead jumping up and down over the announcement of her very own primetime gig on MSNBC. And while we don’t expect the set to be decorated with pink triangles and Melissa Etheridge posters, her nightly presence will serve as yet another positive role model for the gay community. But the best part is: if you listen carefully, you'll hear the sound of Sean Hannity's sweat glands awakening from their long slumber. The powder lady in his makeup room is about to get very busy.
P.S. How cool is it that Rachel's show (no official title yet) will officially debut on September 8th...her grandmother's 93rd birthday. We hear she can whip Buchanan's hiney, too.
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One Year Ago in C&J: August 20, 2007:
JEERS to dishonesty in the ranks. So I'm watching local TV and I see an ad from a "non-partisan" group called Vets For Freedom. They're shaming Senator Olympia Snowe because of her war stance (she now favors a timeline for withdrawal) with classic false-choice language that sounds oddly Cheney-like:
We all have one message: Congress, don’t force us to withdraw from Iraq before we complete our mission. Do not turn your back on those of us who have served and those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. Don’t second-guess our commanders on the ground. And most importantly, don't undermine America's mission in the war on terror. Don’t think you can sugar-coat retreat by calling it re-deployment. In plain language, you're calling for our surrender and defeat. As veterans who have wore the uniform, we believe in our mission. We and the Iraqi people can prevail...unless Congress surrenders.
[Followed by an on-screen graphic that says: Senator Snowe don’t surrender to al Qaeda.]
Smelling something fishy, we took a little trip to SourceWatch and---Bingo---the group appears to be a den of neocons. So you boys want to win the war on terror, huh? Great! Afghanistan's thataway >>>>>
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And just one more...
CHEERS to the Most Trusted Man in America. Ever wonder how Jon Stewart and his elves at The Daily Show weave their snarky magic day after day? Michiko Kakutani offered a glimpse in Sunday's New York Times. Among other things, Stewart says that it's getting harder and harder to make the silliness of reality, well, sillier:
Given a daily reality in which "over-the-top parodies come to fruition," Mr. Stewart said, satire like Dr. Strangelove becomes "very difficult to make." "The absurdity of what you imagine to be the dark heart of conspiracy theorists’ wet dreams far too frequently turns out to be true," he observed. "You go: I know what I’ll do, I’ll create a character who, when hiring people to rebuild the nation we invaded, says the only question I’ll ask is, ‘What do you think of ‘Roe v. Wade?’ It’ll be hilarious. Then you read that book about the Green Zone in Iraq"---Imperial Life in the Emerald City by Rajiv Chandrasekaran---"and you go, ‘Oh, they did that.’ I mean, how do you take things to the next level?"
Stewart also says he's 'looking forward to the end of the Bush administration "as a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal."' Get in line, pal.
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Oh, and Senator Graham? Eyes front---you know how jealous Joe gets around his man. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Man says Cheers and Jeers gave him 9-foot tapeworm
---MSNBC
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