It's time to turn off the Looney Tunes marathon.
You there, with the penny-whistle. And you over there on the kazoo.
Cut the crap.
Yeah, I'm talking to you. And your fool monkey, too.
Please slow down just for a second, take a deep breath, and read this diary. There's something in it for you; namely, I'm going to explain to you how we will win this thing.
It's not magic. It's not rocketry or laser surgery.
It's about getting serious with (gasp) voters.
It's time to declare an end to the Republican's silly season, and begin our dialogue in earnest -- with not only undecided voters, but with longtime McCain stalwarts.
Seriously.
Here's how I did it.
I know a guy who's been in McCain's corner since 2000. And we've hashed out the arguments over and over. But today I picked up the phone and I said, "Can I ask you a few questions?"
"Sure," he said. Have at it.
"Do you seriously intend to vote for the McCain-Palin ticket in two months?"
There was a pause at the end of the line. Then he replied.
"I probably will, yeah." I let him go. "I mean, I'm not thrilled with Palin."
I ran through the hole. "What is it you DO like about her, seriously?"
"She's hot."
"I said seriously."
"Seriously?" His voice cracked, and there was a pause. "She's a fucking disaster, dude. I can't believe he picked her, and I'm freaking out. What if McCain fucking croaks? President Sarah Palin?! There's no way McCain picked her. I'm just taking comfort in that."
"Why do you take comfort in that? Seriously."
"Because if he had his choice, he would have picked somebody different."
"He's the nominee. The head of his party. He wants to be The New Decider. He didn't have a choice?"
"No. Cheney or Rove or somebody like that probably forced it on him."
"But I thought John McCain was a maverick."
He sighed. "So did I."
At this point in the conversation, I thanked my friend for his candor, and I made my pitch.
"You know I respect you, which is why we have to talk about this. There's not much time left, and we need to get serious. Sarah Palin is not a serious candidate for the office of Vice President. You're right: she's a disaster. Barack Obama and Joe Biden are serious people with serious solutions to serious problems. And even if you can't bring yourself to vote for them in November, I hope you think long and hard before you pull the lever for John McCain. Because he failed his first test abysmally."
"You're right, dude. You're right."
I wanted to share this with you because it worked. I intend to re-purpose the approach for phonebanking and LTE work. When you force people to defend the seriousness of the McCain-Palin ticket -- or, as the case may be, the total lack thereof -- mental gears grind and smoke comes from people's ears.
On the ground, and in the media, it's time to get serious.
That's how we win.
UPDATE: I am grateful that so many of you are resolving to go 1:1 with undecideds and McCain voters. But I see lots of you talking about how you're going to go on the offensive with as much Palin ammo as you can. I love it, but please remember that the other person in the dialogue will remember what he or she says much more than what you say. Force them to defend their candidate; they can't tune out their own words, and the emptiness of the arguments they level on McCain's behalf will rattle around in their heads from now until November 4th.
Thanks.