Sick of carrying around all those excess pounds? Ashamed of your flabby, out-of-shape physique? Mortified at the thought that when others look at you, all they'll see is a bloated, gluttonous, ugly pig?
Well, the Republican party has a solution!
Finally, you can get rid of those excess pounds - with NO pills, NO exercise, NO dieting, and NO EFFORT WHATSOEVER on your part (so long as you have a staffer or a PR firm to do the work for you.)
New, from the political party that brought you the "IMAGE OVER SUBSTANCE" leadership series and the "EXPLOIT OTHERS TO WIN BIG" success program - it's the 2008 REPUBLICAN FAKE FITNESS PHOTOSHOP DIET!
Quoth CNN:
HOUSTON, Texas (AP) -- A mailer from a congressional candidate's campaign contains a photo of his head attached to an image of a different body that makes him look thinner.Dean Hrbacek's flier shows his head on another's body.
The photo is presented as a true image of Dean Hrbacek, a Republican former mayor of Sugar Land, Texas. In reality, it is a computerized composite of Hrbacek's face and someone else's slimmer figure, in suit and tie, from neck to knee.
Yes! It's true! Finally, you can lose weight the same way the pigs at the GOP do - by faking it! Make believe you've got that swimmer's build you've always dreamed of by getting some underpaid temp worker to create a new, even more artificial you in Photoshop!
The success of the Republican "Image Over Substance" method speaks for itself. Just look at George W. Bush's 8 years of make-believe "leadership" for proof. The party that brought you the empty flight suit and "Mission Accomplished" is now ready to solve your weight problems forever. Trust us: We can lose your spare tire the same way we can lose 5,000,000 White House emails. It really is that simple!