In the words of every working professional standup comedian...
"Honest, Folks...you can't make this stuff up!"
It is so very hard to have a reasoned discussion on any program, policy, or position of JohnnyFlipFlop. He really has none. Nor has he taken a reason, rational or logical stand on any matter. Johnny McNuts is thoroughly lacking in principle, gave whatever strength of character or conviction to Charles Keating and the 159 Lobbyists who run his current campaign...and is currently spending 100% of his Campaign Advertising Budget on the very same style of negative ads which were run against him in 2000.
It is not the irony of ironies that the style of ads he has opted for were cut from the same mold as those which ended Johnny ShortTermMemoryLoss's campaign in 2000. It is the irony of ironies...that Johnny GasBag has hired most of the same people he previously SLAMMED, to mount his own attack campaign against Barack Obama.
Sure, it wouldn't take "Carnac the Magnificent" to get the fact that if it worked against him...he might want to think about hiring the same guys. However...this IS the same guy, Johnny SlimeBall, who swore that he would never embark on such a campaign. He said that if you ran that kind of campaign, sooner or later the American People would realize that you had nothing of substance to offer them...and that they would then vote for your opponent.
Then again...Johnny McYaGotMeOnThatOne, is the same guy who called Jerry Falwell the "Spawn of Satan" and "intolerant" in 2000, before standing in Falwell's very own pulpit in an effort to secure his endorsement during the current election cycle.
Apparently...one of the many functions of being a "Maverick" is that you have to label someone a "prick" before sucking up to the same prick tells the world all it really needs to know about what a spineless opportunist you can be once you and your new best friend are standing in the same bully pulpit...or greasing each other up, in a slightly less public area of the Thomas Road Baptist Church.
But seriously, Folks...
The General Election Campaign for President of the United States, only "started" with a morally bankrupt, near Naval Academy Dropout who crashed four Military Fightter Aircraft, commited adultery at virtually every opportunity, after crying on a POW medical table about how much he loved his wife.
I guess...when you find God in your 6 X 6 area of solitary confinement...Our Heavenly Father would NATURALLY suggest that the reason why you were not taken to Heaven in a fiery plane crash was because you had not yet completed your earthly mission...which God told you IN PERSON, included finding out that your loyal wife had a disfiguring accident...and then taking whatever dignity she had left, from her...by "driving it home" with every multi-million dollar trust fund heiress that you could find along the road to your spiritual calling.
It sure doesn't hurt when the last one of "those types" you decide to hose down...happens to have just the right political connections to relocate you to a place where nobody knows you were a Pimp...and buy you a Seat in the United States Congress once you get there.
Then, of course, you sell your soul to Charles Keating, actively participate in creating a scandal which costs taxpayers well into the billions of dollars to repair...coordinate your efforts with Phil Gramm in order to orchestrate the prospective demise of the entire world financial system...tell the world as often as possible that you are not a conservative...then you are a conservative...you lay low for a few years, work hand-in-hand with groups who break one law after another in their support of the Contras...attend anti-gay functions, make statements in support of women who attempt to murder doctors who perform legal abortions and bomb women's clinics...lay low for a few more years...and then, have a freaking SEIZURE at a campaign rally in Pennsylvania, where you ask the public to hold your opponent to the same level of "clarity" YOU possess...right after you have referred to the crowd as "My Fellow Preisoners"!
Clarity, huh?
Thank you Johnny ShortBus!
You FINALLY said something that virtually EVERY AMERICAN should agree with. I AGREE to hold you to the same degree of clarity that I would hold Barack Obama.
I AGREE that you, Barack, and ANY OTHER CANDIDATE running for the Office of the person who will have NUCLEAR LAUNCH CODES delivered to him each and every morning, should AT LEAST be able to tell the difference between unemployed Steelworkers...AND PEOPLE YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IN THIRTY-FIVE YEARS.
Do you STILL see those prisoners in your dreams, Johnny War Hero? Do you hear the Prisoners, Clarisse? Or, are you just reminding us that your real political mentor...George W. Bush...has held this entire nation in his own brand of captivity, for the last eight years?
I know some will not only give you the benefit of the doubt on that last point, Johnny MakeThemUpAsYouGoAlong...but will state as a matter of fact, that you really did mean to indicate that "we are all currently prisoners in our very own way".
However...the truth is, Johnny D-Minus...
...you just aren't bright enough to come up with something like that off of the top of your head.
And by the looks on the faces of both Sarah WillSomeonePleaseCramAFluteOrSimilarObjectInMyMouth...and especially your darling daughter...it was clear that not only were they not anticipating the "Fellow Prisoners" comment...but, that they may have immediately soiled themselves, as well.
It MIGHT be a good idea to outfit the entire stage with Depends, from now on, Johnny ExLax.
The good news is...with no programs, no policies, no positions, no morals, no ethics and no vision...all Obama has to do is keep his mouth shut and let you do ALL of the talking.
Remind me again, Johnny Einstein...are we your Friends...your Fellow Americans...your Fellow Prisoners...or just some group of dumb bastards who you still think you can bullshit long enough to get elected President and seek out your next heiress/soulmate?
Hey, wait...didn't you say that you were convinced Sarah SixGun was your true soulmate?
You might want to look into THAT one a little bit further, Cindy McJoyStick...given your OWN track record.