As most everyone knows, on the day John McCain suspended his campaign he was scheduled to appear on David Letterman’s television program that evening. When letterman found out that McCain was not literally heading back to Washington, like he had told Letterman on the phone, it started a feud where Letterman has repeatedly ripped into McCain for canceling his appearance. Well, McCain is scheduled to appear on Letterman’s show tonight to make up for the previous miss. Due to some of Letterman’s comments, it should make for some interesting watching. There may even be an opportunity to see McCain’s temper. In honor of McCain’s appearance tonight I have put together a Top Ten list of some of Letterman’s responses to McCain. If there are more that I have missed add them in the comments and I will put them up – there can always be a tie.
Top Ten Comments said by Letterman recently, which McCain will be replaying in his head before he explodes tonight
- "McCain loves Bailouts, he bailed out on me."
- "I feel like an ugly date."
- "We’re suspending the campaign. Suspending it because there’s an economic crisis, or because the poll numbers are sliding?"
- "You don’t suspend your campaign. Do you suspend your campaign? No, because that makes me think, well, you know, maybe there will be other things down the road –- if he’s in the White House, he might just suspend being president. I mean, we've got a guy like that now!"
- "He doesn’t seem to be racing to the airport, does he?" [Letterman said, shouting at the television monitor] "Hey John, I got a question! You need a ride to the airport?" [While interviewing Keith Olbermann, who filled in after the McCain bailout, and cutting to show a live internal CBS news feed of McCain getting ready to be interviewed by Couric.]
- "I was thinking about this – John, John, here’s how it works: You don’t come to see me ... you don’t come to see me? Well, we might not see you on Inauguration Day. That’s how it works. You see?"
- "They just left the guy hanging there. It's the same thing McCain did to me last night." [After talking about David Blain's stunt hanging upside down in Central Park for 60 hours]
- "John McCain blew off Michigan! Well, I know how they feel."
- Now, he doesn't seem to be racing back to the airport, does he? It's like we caught him getting a manicure."[As McCain was having makeup put on during the live shot with Couric]
- "Maybe you've noticed that all of John McCain's problems began when he bailed out on this show. Are you aware of that? Well, the road to the White House runs right through here!"
I also thought I would throw in these "McCain Looks Like" jokes from Letterman:
"But seriously how about that John McCain? John McCain looks like a guy whose head you can barely see over the steering wheel. ... John McCain looks like the guy who thinks the nurses are stealing his stuff. 'Dad, why would they take your socks? It doesn't make sense.'"
"How about that John McCain, huh? John McCain looks like the kind of guy who brags that his new denture adhesive allows him to eat corn on the cob. He looks like a guy who parked his RV overnight at Wal-Mart."
"How about John McCain? He looks like a guy at a restaurant that says I'm leaving 10%, that's good enough. John McCain, looks like the guy who goes to the curb for the paper and locks himself outside of the house."
"John McCain ... He looks like the guy that walks up to the mound to settle down a young pitcher. John McCain looks like the guy who picks up his TV remote when the phone rings."
"I like that John McCain. He looks like a guy who gets tickets for mowing under the influence. He looks like a guy with a collection of movies he bought at the car wash. He looks like a guy on the beach with a metal detector. He looks like the guy who is still confused by the phone answering machine: 'Hello, is that - hello, is that you? Larry, Larry, hello?' He looks like the guy who calls his grandson when he screws up the remote: 'Well, now all the shows are in Spanish. What am I going to do, hello?'"
"How about that John McCain? He looks like the guy at the movies whose wife has to repeat everything. He looks like the guy who has to always be told something is on his chin. He looks like a guy who still has a rotary phone. He looks like a guy who's backed over his own mailbox. He looks like a guy whose sweater is always mis-buttoned. He looks like the guy who always tells you he's 72 years young. He looks like the guy who's bragged that oatmeal has lowered his cholesterol. He looks like the guy who should be co-hosting with Kelly Ripa."
"Hey, how about this John McCain, huh? Whoa, my gosh –- doesn't he look like the old guy at the barber shop? He looks kind of like a Wal-Mart greeter, John McCain. He kind of looks like the neighbor who says, 'Oh, that dead tree is on your property,' one of those guys. He's the guy who is always early for the early bird special, that's what he looks like. He looks like a mall walker, ladies and gentlemen. He looks like the guy at the supermarket who is confused by the automatic doors. He looks like the uncle who pretends to remove his thumb."
"I like John McCain. He looks like an old guy in a coffee shop who's still complaining about the designated hitter. He looks like the guy who asks the driver if he's on the right bus. He looks like the guy who's always saying, 'What was that? Nothing? That's what I thought.'"
And I also found these:
"John McCain has finally decided on his vice president. The only question now is from which house will he make the announcement." –
"While Barack Obama was campaigning in Germany, he spoke to a half million people in Germany, a half million people. And while he was doing that, John McCain, he wasn't laying around, no, no. John McCain was out driving in his driveway and he backed over the mailbox."
Lets all hope we get to see the real John McCain tonight.
Go Get HIM DAVE!