It's the kind of pillow talk only a lawyer could love:
"I negotiate the art of human interaction," Veronika explains. "I'm not doing anything illegal, because I'm not selling sex. I'm selling companionship. What happens between two consenting adults once they're behind closed doors is their business. Putting them together behind those doors is mine." [cite]
Welcome to the legal netherworld known as the escort agency, where nubile young women sell their wares to aging men with more money than sense. It is a fine line that these raging capitalists are forced to walk: Everyone knows that sex is being sold, and no rational man would pay $300 an hour for mere "companionship," but everyone in the upper echelons of politics understands the value of "plausible deniability."
Meet Chief Judge Edward J. Nottingham of the District of Colorado. Appointed by Bush #41, he is reputed to be a frequent visitor to this netherworld. But unlike his doppelganger Paulie "I remember every blowjob I ever got" Walnuts (see if you can tell which one is which),
he is accused of paying for the unique privileges this world has to offer. And while we might debate the merits of such a law, the law is the law, and paying for sex is a crime.
Congressman Darrell Issa (R-CA) recently quipped that the only difference between God and a federal district court judge "is that God doesn't think that He is a federal district court judge," and the 9 News investigative report seems to bear this out:
Another former escort with Bada Bing, who also wants to remain anonymous, told 9Wants to Know that Judge Nottingham never tried to hide his real identity while doing business with the service.
"He used to say, 'Ed, my name is Ed and I'm a federal judge,'" said the woman.
She also claims she met Judge Nottingham in person at two different VIP parties. She remembered him well.
"He came into the VIP party dressed in a gorgeous three piece, very expensive suit, introduced himself as Ed and stated he was a federal judge," she said.
Both women say the going rate at Bada Bing was $300 per hour for sex, but after 25 visits, men received a discounted rate of $250 per hour. The woman with the relationship with Judge Nottingham says he had reached that discounted rate.
In open court on Thursday, it was announced that Judge Wiley Daniel will be taking over Judge Nottingham's current criminal case that had already gone through jury selection. It was also announced on Wednesday that Judge Nottingham would be out sick for the rest of the week. [cite]
What did clients get for this modest (by Elliot Spitzer standards) sum? As Westword reports, little is left to the imagination:
[T]here is GFE, which stands for Girl Friend Experience and means that the session with that escort feels more like genuine intimacy than a commercial transaction. Other abbreviations are less subjective. DATY stands for Dine at the Y, or cunnilingus. UTF is Un-Translated French, meaning fellatio without a condom. NQNS -- Not a Quitter and Not a Spitter -- translates to oral sex performed to completion, with swallowing. YMMV stands for Your Mileage May Vary, meaning the escort performs some acts with some men but not with others. MSOG, Multiple Shots on Goal, means multiple orgasms in a single session. [cite]
These enterprises go in and out of business for obvious reasons, and Bada Bing has been dissolved. But Judge Nottingham has been under federal investigation for his nocturnal dalliances, spurred on in part by a series of ethics complaints (here and here) filed by contributors to KnowYourCOurts.com.
Allegations of criminal misconduct by federal judges committed on the bench are never investigated by their colleagues, for much the same reasons that Catholic priests never investigate pedophiles in their midst. But sex sells, and the MSM can't leave a sex scandal alone, so the powers-that-be in the federal judiciary had little choice but to investigate Chief Judge Nottingham. As habitual disregard for the law constitutes arguable grounds for impeachment, and Chief Judge Nottingham probably wanted to keep his $230,000 a year job, he allegedly did what you'd probably expect an arrogant man who believes himself to be above and beyond the law to do: He asked his paid consort to lie.
Lying to a federal investigator is a serious matter, as Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK), National Republican Senatorial Committee regional head James Tobin, Olympic sprinter Marion Jones, and domestic diva Martha Stewart can reliably attest. (Of course, the Bush Junta plays by different rules.) And as you might expect, a lowly prostitute isn't going to receive the same kind of professional courtesy that the system affords to federal judges. As such, in an act of self-defense, the prostitute flipped and turned state's evidence as best she could, filing an ethics complaint against Judge Nottingham and telling her story to Denver's 9 News:
This latest investigation, the fourth investigation into Judge Nottingham in the past year and a half, involves a former prostitute with the now dissolved escort service Bada Bing of Denver. She claims the chief judge took her to his house in March where he asked her to make up a story to tell investigators about the nature of their relationship - he paid her for sex.
When she arrived, he asked her to strip naked along with him to make sure that neither one of them was wearing a wire.
"I was just shocked and humiliated and mortified that I was even asked to do that," she told 9NEWS. "Basically, I said, 'Well then I'm lying.' I was, like, 'I'm not really comfortable with that.'"
While they were both wearing towels and sitting on a couch, the former prostitute says Judge Nottingham asked her to help fabricate a story to tell investigators. He wanted her to say they met a restaurant in Denver and went out a few times and that they were only good friends.
"We just decided to agree that we met at a bar. I don't remember which one. We decided to say that we just, over the years, had become friends and on occasion would go out on dates," the woman told 9Wants to Know. "The truth is that I met him when I was an escort for an escort service and he did visit me regularly and he did pay to be with me." [cite]
When you think about it, it's a pretty transparent story. I mean, what woman who looks something like this (a sample of the wares on offer at premium-priced escort services)
lets herself be picked up by a guy in his fifties, if she isn't in it for the money? While it is theoretically possible, no investigator worth his salt is going to believe it. Uh, we're just good friends....
Bottom line, Chief Judge Nottingham took a John McCain-class risk, akin to parlaying a bet on a hard six. Lying to investigators is one thing, but tampering with a federal witness is quite another:
18 U.S.C. § 1512. Tampering with a witness, victim, or an informant
(b) Whoever knowingly uses intimidation, threatens, or corruptly persuades another person, or attempts to do so, or engages in misleading conduct toward another person, with intent to—
(1) influence, delay, or prevent the testimony of any person in an official proceeding;
(2) cause or induce any person to—
(A) withhold testimony, or withhold a record, document, or other object, from an official proceeding;
shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than ten years, or both. [cite]
So, why would Judge Nottingham take such a risk? It's hard to know for certain, but in light of recent history, one can offer an educated guess.
As many will recall, Judge Nottingham presided over the insider trading trial of former Qwest CEO Joe Nacchio -- and did so in such a way as to prevent disclosure of domestic spying activity by the Bush administration. As every Paulie Walnuts knows, you can either do a favor for Tony Soprano or learn to sing soprano; if you know that the Don will protect you, it's a risk you're probably willing to take. The Bush Administration owns the Justice Department, and has routinely declined to investigate potential felonious acts by its lieutenants. All the pieces are in place: U.S. District Attorney Troy Eid is a known confederate of Jack Abramoff, who apparently violated federal lobbying laws -- evidently, a 'good soldier' who knows that it is good to work for the Don. John McCain did his part for the Don, cabining in the Abramoff investigation in a way that might have helped Eid. With 'cover' on all sides and plenty of money for top-drawer lawyers and other hookers, it is a risk Chief Judge Nottingham could afford to take. Unlike the rest of us if caught in an equally compromising position, it is a veritable certainty that he won't do time.
At the end of the day, this is what we're fighting for: the rule of law, as opposed to rule by the dons. This election is the most important we have ever been involved in -- not just for the obvious reasons, but for those that don't seem obvious on the surface. Less than twenty days from the election, you shouldn't need another reminder ... but if you do, try to remember Paulie Walnuts....