If I had been a powerful Republican, or perhaps someone more powerful, who had wanted to create an excuse for a Barack Hussein Obama victory, I would have infiltrated ACORN. I would have found a poor person and paid her an absurd amount of money to fuck with the voter registrations. She would tip off the police to her actions, and then ACORN takes the blame.
You don't believe this is possible. Why not? It's simple to do; it just takes an absurd amount of balls.
I kinda doubt it really happened, but who knows?
After the landslide, the zealots would cry foul, and the internets would echo it to all ends of the earth. Emails would cover the land, and the haters would organize, especially if there are no jobs to keep them busy, tired, fed, and clothed. If our way of life must truly change, as circumstances demand, people will have a choice: they must either adapt, or riot. Some would use the excuse of Obama and communism and socialism and melanism and the Black Panthers and whatever other bullshit these people fear to exarcerbate the problem.
There are many arguments against this conspiracy; the meekness of the electorate is not one of them. This is a country that would fight. If people genuinely believe Obama and the space communists stole their Presidency, then we will witness some interesting occurences.
This ACORN stuff needs to be looked into quickly, and we need to moveon.org.
I thought that was a funny joke. I'm deadly serious about what I'm talking about though. None of these things may transpire, but there is no reason they cannot. Crazy things happen in crazy times, and after eight years of Bush, we are in for fun stuff.
I think that's a pretty cool conspiracy. The problem, however, is that conspiracies are judged not by how logical they are, but by how many people believe them.
************************ :( Breaking News :) ************************
To begin with,
We thought we had friends, in Europe and in the United States. They were sought in the hour of need and found to be busy with their own problems; only the Scandinavians were prepared to extend a helping hand, and then, all of a sudden, Russia — somehow the world has changed.
The Ice Storm, by Gauti Kristmannsson
Three Rivals
Russia will bring back its Lenin propoganda, and they will crow about "American Communism." Their sphere of influence may spread, effecting distant conflicts in distant lands. Also, Russia has lots of oil under the North Pole. That the same oil as our North Pole. Whoever drains it first gets all of it. It becomes a race to see who can rape the most pristine part of our planet fastest. Awesome.
Also,
Heres that ACORN thing I was talking about earlier.
Furthermore,
As a tutor, I can tell you that the SAT, the very lifeblood of my meager living, is a silly test. It tests a very specific type of intelligence, at the expense of all others.
Nevertheless, do not discount its importance. It builds and tests cognition, a word you should know, and a thing you should strengthen.
Moreover,
Paul Krugman wins Nobel Prize in Economics for figuring out that you save money if you make a lot of things at once.
Let's Get Fiscal, by Paul Krugman
Penultimately,
Buy American. I Am., by Warren Buffet
This will be Obama's Secretary of the Treasury, or, if he has the stones, our next Chairman of the Federal Reserve.
Finally,
David Brooks noticed that Obama is bored.