The Lord said unto Bush and the Republican Party – beware mistreating my people, or 10 plagues will be visited on you.
- Water to Blood
7:19 And the LORD spake unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Take thy rod, and stretch out thine hand upon the waters of the Gulf of Mexico, upon their streams, upon their rivers, and upon their ponds, and upon all their pools of water, that they may become blood; and that there may be blood throughout all the land of the Gulf Coast, both in vessels of wood, and in vessels of stone. And New Orleans felt the fury of God because George Bush didn’t care about Black People.
Let my people go!
- Alien Frogs
8:2 And if thou refuse to let them go, behold, I will smite all thy borders with alien frogs:
8:3 And the river shall bring forth alien frogs abundantly, which shall go up and come into thine house, and into thy bedchamber, and upon thy bed, and into the house of thy servants, and upon thy people, and into thine ovens, and into thy kneading troughs:
8:4 And the alien frogs shall come up both on thee, and upon thy people, and upon all thy servants. But they will not bother the people of the Lord, who will be welcomed by them.
Let my people go.
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- Dust to Death in Iraq
8:16 And the LORD said unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Stretch out thy rod, and smite the sand of the desert of the land of Iraq, that insurgents may become like lice throughout all the land of the Middle East.
Let my people go.
- Candidates like Flies
8:21 Else, if thou wilt not let my people go, behold, I will send swarms of ill-suited Republican candidates for president upon thee, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people, and into thy houses: and the houses of the Republicans shall be full of swarms of flies, and also the ground whereon they are.
Let my people go.
- Livestock Diseased
9:3 Behold, the hand of the LORD is upon thy food supply which is in the field, upon the horses, upon the asses, upon the camels, upon the cattle, and upon the sheep: there shall be a very grievous murrain. And the beef of George W. Bush cannot be sold anywhere, except to the people of the US.
Let my people go.
- Boils
9:8 And the LORD said unto Moses and unto Aaron, Take to you handfuls of ashes of the furnace, and let Moses sprinkle it toward the heaven in the sight of the President.
9:9 And it shall become small dust in all the land of the US, and shall be a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon beast, throughout all the land of the US. And that boil shall be named John McCain, who shall preside over the destruction of the temple of mammon the Republicans have built.
Let my people go.
- Thunder and Hail
9:18 Behold, tomorrow about this time I will cause it to rain a very grievous hail, such as hath not been in the US since the foundation thereof even until now. Because George W. Bush would not protect the environment, did he bring upon the world this plague.
Let my people go.
- Locusts
10:4 Else, if thou refuse to let my people go, behold, tomorrow will I bring the locusts from Alaska into thy land:
10:5 And they shall cover the face of the earth, that one cannot be able to see the earth: and they shall eat the residue of that which is escaped, which remaineth unto you from the hail, and shall eat every tree which groweth for you out of the field.
Let my people go.
- Darkness
10:21 And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand toward heaven, that there may be darkness over the US, even darkness which may be felt.
10:22 And Moses stretched forth his hand toward heaven; and there was a thick darkness in all the land of Egypt three days. And the name of that darkness, that will portend the utter destruction of the Republican Party is named McCain/Palin.
Let my people go.
- Death of the Firstborn
11:4 And Moses said, Thus saith the LORD, About midnight will I go out into the midst of Egypt:
11:5 And all the firstborn in the land of Republicans shall die a political death, from the first born of George H. W. Bush that sitteth upon his throne, even unto the whole of the Republican Party.
And in the end, George W. Bush would not heed the word of the Lord, and his party would have to suffer for 30 years in the desert.
But, the people, after being oppressed for 8 years set themselves free and walked back into the sunshine.
My people found new hope and lived free again.
(Someone could probably do a better job of this, but it's my attempt at humor as I set nervously waiting for next Tuesday. Feel free to edit and change - Best, Jon)