Inspired by the Newsom video to talk to CA voters about Prop 8, I decided to write a little letter to my west coast friends. Having done so, I figured why not share it w/ you guys as well? So here it is after the jump.
Hey guys. I think most of you know my political leanings and may have even been subjected to my political rants. As I've gotten older, I've learned not to deluge others with my beliefs as to not offend my conservative friends. I've decided that there is an issue this year that warrants me breaking this safe approach. If I had a vote to cast on the issue, I may have decided not to take up your time, but only you California voters get to vote on an issue that will have serious national implications. That issue is Proposition 8, which attempts to ban gay couples from marrying.
I'm delighted by the trend in this country towards tolerance. When we were younger, however, homophobia was accepted, and I'm ashamed to say that as a kid, I was squarely in the anti-gay camp. I guess I never really thought about why I had such a hatred of gays, but I did. Then in the summer of 1993, I was watching a documentary on the civil rights movement. As I watched the segregationists attack the peaceful marchers, I saw too much of myself in their faces. The ugliness, the unwarranted hatred that I saw in them was something that I had not realized was in me too. I bring this up because since then, gay rights has become a matter of civil rights for me.
Some people on the pro-Prop 8 side make the argument that they believe in gay rights, but that they want to preserve the strength of traditional marriage. I believe that this notion is a fallacy. Firstly, it's not historically accurate to say that there really is a "traditional definition of marriage." We now define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, but that is the result of both a widening and a narrowing of previous definitions. Until 1967, many states outlawed marriages between individuals of different races, so we've expanded the definition in that respect. Until relatively recently (and still in many parts of the world), the individuals didn't have to be a man and woman; they could have been a boy and too often, a girl, so in that sense we now have a narrower definition. Other cultures (not to mention the parts of own culture that are the biggest financial backers of pro-Prop 8) allow polygamy, so again we have a narrower definition. Our definition of marriage reflects our social values, and there is no reason why we can't adapt our definition to accommodate our recognition of gay equality.
I also believe that legalizing gay marriage doesn't weaken heterosexual marriage. As I was coming to see gay rights as a matter of civil rights, I was simultaneously (but independently) becoming very cynical on the idea of marriage. The high divorce rates and the predominance of marriages of convenience made we wonder, "what's the point?" I had more or less ruled out the idea of ever getting married, but then Vermont legalized civil unions for gay couples. While not the same as marriage, it made me think that if people who love each other, no matter what their sexual orientation, can enter into a legal life-long relationship, then maybe marriage can really be about spending your life with someone you love. So, to those who think allowing gays to marry weakens heterosexual marriage, I'm proof that the opposite is true.
I don't know if anything I've said has had any resonance with you, but I believe the passage of Proposition 8 could have huge negative national implications, and the only way I can have a voice on the issue is to speak to you.