Ten minutes ago:
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hi, this is turnover. Sorry I can't get to..."
"Hello? Hello?"
"turnover?"
"Yeah - sorry about that. I was...indisposed. This is turnover."
"Hey man - it's Barack."
"Barack who?"
"Barack Obama. You trying to tell me you know two people named Barack?"
"Um...well...no, sir. Wow. What's going on?"
"Oh, you know...just trying to stock this cabinet."
"So I read."
"Well...don't believe everything you read. People are just making shit up, it seems."
"Some of the sources seem fairly credible."
"Until you hear it from me...it's not credible."
"Understood."
"Anyway...back to the point of my ca..."
"Hey...sir...were you serious when you said you'd like to see a playoff in NCAA football."
"Absolutely".
"Awesome."
"Anyway...turnover...try to stay with me here. I've been doing some research, and I came across a paper you wrote in high school about Berlin."
"High school, sir?"
"Yes."
"How did you ever find..."
"Don't worry about it. Like I was saying...it was a very good paper."
"Thank you."
"Listen...have you ever thought of serving in government?"
"In what capacity?"
"Well...I was thinking Secretary of State."
"But I thought Hillary...or Richardson..."
"What did I just tell you about not believing everything you read?"
"I'm sorry, sir. But why me?"
"Well...that'd certainly shake things up, wouldn't it?"
"Um...well...yes sir, but I don't think I'm necessarily qualified..."
"Bullshit, man. You'd have the best diplomatic minds in the country around you, advising you. But I'm not sure anyone here wants to be the face of the department. Bush, Cheney, and Rice have left us in a veritable shitstorm."
"Yes sir, I certainly agree with that, but...I mean..."
"Look, turnover. I just need people to make decisions."
"Yes, but..."
"How's your jump shot?"
"My jump shot, sir?"
"Yes."
"It's alright. Decent from outside."
"Defense?"
"Well, I'm kind of short. I usually just hang out around the perimeter. And I'm not as quick as I once was."
"Don't worry about that. We can fix that."
"Why all the basketball questions?"
"I'm planning on putting together a little three-on-three game against the Russians to coincide with March Madness."
"And you want me..."
"I don't know yet. We'll need to get you up here...take a look at you on the court. Bradley's coaching."
"Well...that's certainly a good hire."
"Damn right it is."
"So...you'll consider it then?
"Wait...consider the Secretary of State position or playing basketball?"
"You can't have one without the other."
"Yes sir. I see."
"So...you'll let me know tomorrow morning, right?"
"Um...yes sir."
"Alright, then. I'll talk to you in the morning."
"Yes sir. Um...sir?"
"Yes?"
"What if we lose? Against the Russians, I mean."
(Laughs) "Kid, don't worry about it. It's not going to happen."