I still remember the first time I cast a vote for Barack Obama.
It was the March 2004 Illiniois Democratic Primary. I was more excited to vote for Senate than I was for Democratic presidential nominee - I was a Dean supporter, but he was out of it by the time my primary rolled around. I voted for John Kerry in the interests of party unity, but I can't say I was particularly excited about doing so.
But I was really excited to vote for Barack Obama. The Senate primary was hotly contested, but Barack closed strong and won the thing. Later that summer he spoke at the Democratic convention and I remember the pride I felt in seeing my choice for senate give such an amazing speech.
Of course, I strongly supported Barack Obama through the presidental primary. But in the days when he was 30 points down to Hillary, I would tell myself that it wouldn't be so bad if he lost, because we would get to keep him here in Illinois.
Today, he resigns as my senator as he prepares to become our president.
Here in Illinois, we send some great people to Washington - Barack Obama, Dick Durbin, and Rahm Emanuel - my congressman, by the way, who I am losing too!
But our state government leaves much to be desired. We Illinois Democrats feel the same way about our Democratic governor, Rod Blagojevich, that many Republicans feel about George W Bush. I suspect that it is because of our corrupt and dysfunctional state government that Illinois superstars tend to go to Washington and the rogues stay in Springfield.
And that is why part of me had sometimes hoped Obama would lose in the primary - because I kind of hoped he would run for Governor of Illinois instead and clean up this state.
But he beat all the odds and now we in Illinois have to share him and Rahm with the rest of the country.
But, of course, I happy that he and Rahm have come so far. Obviously, it will be good for Illinois - and the country - to have President Obama, Chief of Staff Emanuel, and Senate Assistant Majority Leader Durbin.
Maybe now that Barack and Rahm have reached the highest levels of power, they could put their big thumbs on the scale once a while in Illinois to support an ethical and functional state govermment.
So, no, I didn't really ever want Barack to lose.
But as he resigns his Senate seat today, my pride in his election as President is bittersweet, to say the least.