I am a straight male. I voted No on Proposition 8. I also voted No on George Bush 4 years ago. I lost in both cases. The results seemed unfair in each case. But the process was fair.
As we all know, Proposition 8’s perceived unfairness has resulted in mass protests. No one in the opposition is letting up now. The energy and enthusiasm are truly amazing. It makes me proud that people are this fired up. And not just in California. It’s spreading everywhere.
Having worked on the Obama campaign, in the days following this historic election I was thinking about many issues–how we’ll change our crippled and malformed economy, our broken health care system, the extreme inequities in opportunity that have pervaded the country. People are losing their jobs, their homes, sick and unable to pay for health care, demoralized and cynical about government. November 4th didn’t magically change any of that.
For me, Proposition 8 seemed slightly less significant than these issues in the days preceding and immediately subsequent to the election. After all, no one’s losing their homes, their 401(k)’s or their health over Proposition 8.
But I’ve come around some since then. While I do not purport to be able to know what exactly gays are feeling, I now see that this issue has immense symbolic significance. Because marriage is not so much a symbol of family or procreation, as it is of love. And no one should be deprived of wearing the badge of love.
Still, the sheer passion and power of the movement in opposition to Prop 8 after November 4th raises some important questions:
First, as many have suggested, where was all this energy, passion, and power in the weeks and months preceding November 4th? I didn’t see it. I saw some commercials concluding that Proposition 8 was "unfair and wrong" but those commercials never clearly stated why. What was the substantive message of the Vote No on 8 campaign? I really don’t recall. Do you?
Reporting on the significant number of protests in California, the San Francisco Chronicle observed on Saturday that "[t[his uprising so far lacks clear leadership." And if there is no leadership now, there likely never has been any leadership. Have gay marriage advocates stopped to think about what they did wrong here? How we could have prevented this? Proposition 8 did not have to pass. The campaign and election of Barack Hussein Obama, a junior African-American Senator, prove it.
Has the opposition put its nose to the grindstone to determine what it can do different next time?
Perhaps not, because apparently many in the gay community do not believe there should be a next time. They believe a court should step in to overrule the votes of a majority of Californians in what was a clean and fair democratic process. A lot of time, energy and resources (including the precious resources of California’s court system) are being spent on this course. But putting aside whether there is a case here (which, honestly, I don’t think there is), have we stopped to think whether we really want a court to decide the issue? That’s change from the top down. And, as such, it wouldn’t heal the wounds, it would gouge them wider. In a sense, it is a way around the problem, not a way of addressing it head on.
Consider the alternative of building a movement from the ground up, of channeling all this passion and power we are currently feeling not into protests on the steps of City Hall or scorched earth, wasteful court cases, but in taking the case to the people. And doing it right this time.
We need to take our lumps and move forward. Prior to November 4, the opposition to Prop 8 was too weak, too complacent, with no clear message. I don’t think the gay community really believed this would happen. I know I didn’t. The good news is that, as the last 12 days demonstrate, the power is there, the numbers are there.
This can be done. And it should be done via the ballot, by the people. But first we need to build a real movement, with some real leadership, so that when gay marriage finally comes to California–and it will–it stays. And so that the manner in which it comes–through the hearts and minds of the people–is something truly to be proud of.
Now let’s dismiss the wasteful lawsuits, stop the misdirected protests, and get to work.
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